Humpty Dumpty Decoded Transcript
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:07
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam. I'm your host, Knob Twister.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:11
Oh, I've never been a happier sofa sitter in my whole life.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:15
We're a fairy tale audio comedy, but today we're doing.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:21
Nursery Rhymes. That's right. This is our first episode of Nursery Rhymes.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:24
They're kind of like, yeah, that's right, this is our first episode of nursery rhymes. They're kind of like yeah and in rhyme. Not all nursery rhymes rhyme. I don't know if that's true or not. They might have in their actual native language, in their real language, anyway, anyway.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:43
You start an argument right off the bat. Jeez, every Thursday we will you start an argument right off the bat. I know Jeez, please.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:48
Every Thursday we will present you another hand-picked fairy tale from a different place time, culture or Gange, that's right. Today's tale is Humpty Dumpty From the multi-verse. Yes, the rhyme is one of the best known in the English language yes, the common text form from 1954 goes like this oh that's me right.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:23
Yes, humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. Very good.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:39
That's sad. The rhyme does not explicitly state that the subject is an egg, although we all know that from our childhood right I was from a picture.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:51
I see a picture right here An egg Possibly, because it may have been originally posted as a riddle. That doesn't make sense to me. How is that a riddle?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:02
Because it doesn't say that it's an egg.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:04
Because it doesn't make any sense. You have to guess what it is that a riddle? Because it doesn't say that it's an egg, so you have to choose.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:06
You have to guess what it is that fell off the wall.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:09
But how would you guess that that was an egg? It could be anything, it could have been a piece of mirror, I don't know I'm thinking of things that play A stained glass window with arms and legs.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:23
Alright the earliest known version was published in Samuel Arnold's Juvenile Amusements in 1797 with the lyrics Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Four score men and four score more could not make Humpty Dumpty where he was before.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:46
That's weird, how many is four score?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:50
I used to know that.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:51
Oh, I know it. I just wanted to know if you know it.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:53
What is it? Dustin A score is 20 years.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:56
Cool, a four score is 80 years.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:58
That's a lot of time.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:59
So that's 80 men and 80 more, that's 160 men.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:05
That's a lot of men. You'd think that they could get that task done. Put an egg back together. But that might not be what they were talking about. It's true From 1996, the website for the town of Colchester. Yes, because I pronounced that wrong the last time.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:24
We did this before.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:25
Shh oh Shh. England Tourist Board attributed the origin of the rhyme to a canon In 1648,. The town of Colchester was a walled town with a castle and several churches Useful and several churches Useful. A large cannon named Humpty Dumpty, being a common insult for the overweight, was strategically placed on the wall.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:51
Why were they making fun of fat people? I guess because it was 1648 and they could still do it then.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:57
They didn't. Yeah, they didn't have hate speech then the PC police hadn't arrived, that's correct. A shot from the enemy succeeded in damaging the wall beneath Humpty Dumpty, which caused the cannon to tumble to the ground. Oh dear, All the king's men attempted to raise Humpty Dumpty onto another part of the wall to defend the town, but the cannon was so heavy that all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.
04:27
Makes a lot of sense to me, or in the 1797 version four score men and four score more. 160 men could not make Humpty Dumpty where he was before.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:42
That makes sense. So what are they doing with these 160 dudes all trying to get the cannon back up on the wall when their town gets attacked. Wouldn't they have been more useful attacking back? Hmm, did Colchester fall? We don't know. Come on, that's. Oh it fell. Oh, they know that in history.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:02
This is an actual event in history. Yeah, but oh, it fell. But the part about Humpty Dumpty is in question.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:10
Well, maybe that was their excuse for being dumb at donkeys.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:32
Author Albert Jack claimed in his 2008 book Pop Goes the Weasel the Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes that there was evidence to support this claim. He was said to have found them in an old, dusty library in an even older book, but did not state what the book was or where he found it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:45
Sir, no, you can't say I found this information and quote an old, dusty library book and then put it in another book and use that as a citation. That does not apply.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:58
Why not Peer?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:59
review. Sir, it has to be falsifiable or it's not true.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:04
So I'm not sure if that explanation of the rhyme is correct.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:11
But it's pretty a legit sounding story right. It makes total sense to me, but Albert Jack really needed to have a better citation.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:19
Well, dustin, there's an even darker version of this nursery rhyme, darker than Humpty Dumpty died. Yes, in 1842, james Orchard Hayowell published a collected version. Humpty Dumpty Wait, you read this one. Oh I got this one.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:38
Yeah, Humpty Dumpty laying up back, which is a mountain stream apparently, with all his sinews around his neck. I don't like the way this is going. This is bad. Senu's around his neck. I don't like the way this is going. This is bad. 40 doctors and 40 rights. Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty in rights. Oh Matt, why did he have Senu around his neck?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:03
That's creepy. Um, there's a tragic accident and he's laying in the gutter after.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:10
A tragic accident? Yeah, maybe he got hit. He's laying in the gutter after A tragic accident yeah maybe he got hit.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:15
He's laying in the gutter beside the road after he got hit because he was walking drunk.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:20
And it popped his sinews out around his neck.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:24
Well, they did fall out and he wrapped them around his neck so he wouldn't lose them. I'm making this up.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:34
Sinews are the little fibers that hold your muscles together right. And they pull them out and make ropes. They twist them together and make ropes out of them.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:43
What if?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:43
somebody was nefariously trying to kill Mr Dumpty. Oh, that's a good explanation for it, because you can't get Well, I mean, you couldn't fall down.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:54
Hang him with his own sinews.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:57
You couldn't fall down and get your sinews wrapped around your neck.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:59
That's even darker. Dustin Creepy, when does your mind go at night? It is what it is. This could be explained by the Oxford English Dictionary. Be explained by the oxford english dictionary. In the 17th century the term humpty dumpty referred to a drink of brandy boiled with ale. Oh, that sounds awful as a riddle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:22
Humpty dumpty probably was slang for a short and clumsy person well, would they get to make fun of short and clumsy people too?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:31
And depended on the assumption that a clumsy person falling off a wall might not be irreparably damaged. That's dumb, whereas an egg would be. That doesn't make any sense. So the answer to the riddle would have been egg. Oh, we're back to the riddle. The rhyme no longer poses as a riddle since the answer is now so well known.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:58
Yeah, it's a useless riddle if everybody knows the answer. That's true. I wonder if Bilbo would have asked God the Humpty Dumpty riddle if he would have known.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:09
Because the other egg question just about got him he might have. Maybe he would have said it's a canon.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:17
Oh, and he would have been. Well, that might have been right too. He would have needed a citation. That was correct.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:25
He needs an old, dusty book from an unspoken of library that doesn't work. I can make up anything I want and say I read an old, dusty book in a library he needs, like Nicolas Cage, to go and find it in some old, dusty library, nice Secret passageway, in a library with secret books that talk about old nursery rhymes and their true meaning. Well, the CIA chases him. Hey, we should call Nick and see if he's up for a movie on this.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:56
Nick Nick Cage, are you available to make a movie for us?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:01
He might be hard up for money.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:03
It's called Wow, that's no way to get him to come on the show. It's called Humpty Dumpty, and we think you're amazing and have tons of money.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:11
And we don't have any money to pay you anyway.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:17
We'll negotiate the deal with Disney oh wow, that would be a great movie. Humpty Dumpty.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:23
Resurrection of. Nursery Rhymes starring Nick Cage. I see, got it. It's beautiful. That's our first episode of Nursery Rhymes. Good night, bye.