Quarrelsome Demyan Transcript
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:05
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam. I'm your host, knob Twister.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:10
Congratulations on your fine achievement.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:12
Thank you, thank you and your name, sir. I'm Bubba. Today we kick off our deep dive into Slavic folklore. Today we kick off our deep dive into Slavic folklore Woo-hoo. This encompasses the folklore of the Slavic peoples found in Russia, ukraine, poland, bulgaria, serbia and a whole lot of other places. Dot dot dot, that's right. Dot dot dot, et cetera. Today's story is Khorosum. Damien, damien, woo-hoo, and I do find it kind of funny that Damien possibly means to tame. I thought Damien was the devil and after you listen to this tale you'll be like this guy does need to be tamed, he needs to be tamed.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:03
Big jerk Yep, I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:06
You haven't read it yet, so, dustin, start us off Wholesome Damien.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:12
Once there was a peasant who liked to pick a fight. Yeah baby, I like him already. He invited other peasants to his house, told his wife to set the table and asked the guest to sit down.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:23
The guest said politely you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, damien Ilyich.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:32
Last names. We gotta do last names now.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:34
Ilyich.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:36
Damien Ilyich, ilyich.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:40
Ilyich. Like Ily, I have an itch Slapped him in the face. Like Illy, I have an itch Slapped him in the face. He slapped him in the face and said Always obey the master when you're in someone else's house, forward what.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:11
The guest sat down with a thud. The host offered him food and he ate.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:12
He stayed after he slapped him in the face. I know I might have been out of there. Might have been Depends on what they were serving, you know? Yeah, prime rib. I'd have been in for the long haul. I would have maybe perused what was on the dinner table first and then decided if I should stay With. The slapping offense was worth staying for prime rib. Yes, hot dogs, surf and turf.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:28
I'm out.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:30
The host began to cut numberless slices of bread. That's a lot of bread. The guest said why do you cut so much bread? Damian Ilyich.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:41
Damian Ilyich gave him another slap in the face, of course he did, saying don't give advice in someone else's house, do what the host tells you. What the crap? The guest became unhappy, you think, and when offered food, did not eat it, thus disobeying Damien who kept beating him and saying in someone else's house obey the master.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:08
Wow, what the heck.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:11
This is redonkulous, can ever say redonkulous, again redonkulous.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:17
I'm coming over the table you're gonna get slapped At that moment. Another fellow, shabby dressed but lively and robust, ooh lively opened the gate and, without being invited, rode into the yard. Nicely done.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:34
Damien went out on the porch and saluted him. Welcome. Welcome, for he wanted to thrash this guest too. He's just all kind of spunk.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:45
Is this? Is this like masochistic tendencies are going on here?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:52
No, you got it backwards. No, I'm not. Inflecting pain on other people is sadist.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:59
Oh, you're right, because masochistic is receiving the pain Hmm.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:07
Yeah, he's definitely some kind of sociopath. It's weird.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:12
The fellow was not backward? I hope not. He removed his hat and said Forgive me, damien Illich, for having come without first asking permission. Weird.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:28
Never mind, you are welcome, Please come in. And the fellow came in shockingly enough.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:39
The host bade him sit down at table and ordered his wife to serve the dishes and bring bread. The fellow ate and ate without contradicting his host. No matter how Damien tried to provoke his guest, he could not find a pretext for striking him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:57
What happened to the other dude he was beating around? Did he leave?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:00
Probably snuck out the back, wouldn't you?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:04
Well, heck, yeah, I would have.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:05
I might have taken the wife too been like come on, get out of this crazy man's house, I'm saving you maybe she's just a psycho, we don't know.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:14
Uh, finally, he resorted to tricks. He brought out his very best clothes and said to the stranger take off what you're wearing, put this on on Weird. He thought to himself, he will refuse out of politeness and then I will thrash him.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:31
But the fellow did not refuse. He put on the clothes that his host gave him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:36
He was shabbily dressed so he's probably happy to. Other than the stripping down. He thought to himself he will refuse out of politeness, then I will thrash him.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:48
But the fellow did not refuse.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:50
He put on the clothes that the host gave him, damien, offered him this and that. Still the fellow did not quarrel. Damien brought out a good horse, saddled it with his best saddle, put a good bridle on it and said to his guest, take my horse, yours is a poor jade, thinking to himself that the man would surely refuse.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:13
But the fellow mounted the horse. Damien told him to ride forth. He silently urged on the horse, went out of the yard and said Farewell, damien. The devil didn't send me. I came here of my own accord and he was never heard of again.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:33
Well, that was a weird thing to say. The devil didn't send me. I think the devil sent him. Oh, damien followed him with his eyes, clapped his hands and said Well, at last I have found my equal. Not he, but I was fooled. I wanted to thrash him and instead I lost my horse, and his horse with its trappings was worth perhaps as much as a hundred and fifty rubles. The heck just happened.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:10
On a side note, I did plug in 150 rubles and it comes out to $2.30 in US dollars At the time this was written.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:21
that was way different.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:22
Okay, because that is a really cheap horse and tackle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:26
This was before the crash of the Soviet Empire, sir.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:31
So then rubles were worth a lot more.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:34
Well, I don't know how much they were worth, but they were worth more than $2. Do you have Tourette's?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:42
Damien.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:42
Ilyich, you just scream out random crap.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:46
I should have another son and name him Damien Illich. Do I need to slap you, damien Illich?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:53
Knob Twister Do you need to be thrashed. Is this thing on, hello, hello.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:58
Yes, it's on.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:01
Odd enough. All right, I'm going to try it sometime. I'm going to invite you over for dinner next week and if you don't eat what I give you, I'm going to. Well, that's never happened.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:12
No, no, because you give pretty good food. Now, maybe if you put trash on the table or something, something disgusting.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:19
I'm going to ask you to do something outrageous Fish heads. And when you don't do it, I'm gonna slap your head and say do what your host tells you Make sure you got a camera rolling so we can put it on our YouTube.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:29
If you think that what we do here is pretty awesome, you can support us by going to our website at talesofbedlamcom, subscribe to our newsletter and buy some of our swag so that you can support our habit I am Groot by becoming a walking billboard. What does I am Groot have to do with this? I am Groot. That's not our shirt. I am Groot. Okay, good night, I am Groot.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:05
I'm going to read the whole next story in Groot.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:08
Oh, no one would understand it, dustin, but it'd be hilarious For the first two minutes. I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot, oh boy.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:23
Have you seen Endgame yet?