The Louse and the Flea Transcript

Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:11

Welcome to Tales of Bethlehem. I'm your host, Micah. I'm Dr Teeth. We're a fairy tale audio comedy that reads fairy tales from around the world, true that? And we comment on them and we like to think we're kind of funny. I'm very funny, bubba is funny. We have a short tale for you today the Louse and the Flea, which is another Brothers Grimm.

00:39

I don't like either of these things. But first just to let you know know, we have an awesome website that we'd love you to go on to Find your favorite episode and post a comment. Absolutely, we like to reply to those comments. So if you post a comment, it could be a question or just an observation. We might have a hilarious response to that.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:05

There's no might about it. All my responses are hilarious.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:09

In the eye of the beholder Destin.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:11

And you can read our blog there as well. Yes, yeah. Or you can order cool-ass t-shirts, like the one I'm wearing, that you can't see.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:18

No, you can't see it, but it is a nice t-shirt.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:21

It's amazing.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:22

Yep, then you can help support our addiction to podcasting it's a problem by becoming a walking billboard for us. All right and you get to pay for that privilege.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:36

For help man.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:39

Without further ado, Dustin, start our story.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:47

The louse Dirty things and the flea. A louse and a flea kept house together and were brewing beer in an eggshell. Woo, sweet Party. I like the way this one started already. Then the little louse fell and burnt herself.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:07

Whoa whoa Say that again Read it properly.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:11

What? That's what I said. Then the little louse oh Well, the grammar police have shown up today. Then the little louse fell in and burnt herself. Fell in the beer, I'm assuming On this. The little flea began to scream loudly Ah, what is going on? Then said what? Then said the little room door. The room door, of course, the door in the eggshell, is talking to them.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:46

No, the little door in the room. Doesn't your door talk to you?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:52

I don't brew beer in an eggshell, so I don't know what goes on at that level. Then said the little room door Little flea, why art thou screaming?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:04

Ah, because the lassouse burnt herself.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:08

What that was the flea answering, I'm assuming. Then the little door began to creak. On this, a little broom in the corner said why are you creaking little door?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:27

Have I not reasoned to creak? What the?

Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:28

heck is going on. I guess, technically, you would read that part. I apologize, I've got this all backwards Because have I not reasoned to creak? Uh, but we could just let me just read it. I'll just read it and then we'll just. We're just going to make this work. The little louse has burnt herself.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:47

The little flea is weeping.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:49

Oh, I see where this is going. This is going to be an awful last sentence. So the little broom began to sweep frantically. Then a little cart passed by and said why aren't those sweeping little broom?

Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:04

Have I not reason to sweep?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:06

The little louse burnt herself. The little flea is weeping. The little door is creaking.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:12

Oh my.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:14

So the little cart said Then I will run and began to run wildly. What the heck Then said the ash heap by which it ran? Oh my god, why art thou running so little cart?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:29

Have I no reason to run? The little louse has burnt herself. The little flea is weeping. The little door is creaking. The little broom is sweeping.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:39

I need somebody to jam something sharp into my ear. The ash heap said Then I will burn furiously and began to burn in clear flames. A little tree stood near the ash heap and said Ash heap, why art thou burning? Have I not reason to burn? The little louse has burnt herself. The little flea is weeping. The little door is creaking. The little broom is sweeping, the little cart is running.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:12

The little tree said Then I will shake myself.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:17

And began to shake herself so that all her leaves fell off.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:21

Oh dear.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:34

A girl came up with her water pitcher, saw that and said oh dear, the little flea is weeping, the little door is creaking, the little broom is sweeping, the little cart is running, the little ass heap is burning. The little ass at, holy crap.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:02

Say ass heap again, because that's hysterical, the little ash heap is burning On this, the little girl said Then I will break my little water pitcher.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:15

And she broke her little water pitcher that seemed unnecessary.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:23

Then said the little spring from which ran the water A spring. Girl, why art thou breaking the water jug, have I not? Oh, and now, what am I?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:35

I have not reason to break my water jug.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:37

We're back to the girl.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:39

Have I not reason to break my water jug? The little louse has burnt herself, the little flea is weeping, the little door is creaking, the little broom is sweeping, the little cart is running, the little ash heap is burning and the little tree is shaking itself.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:56

Oh, oh said the spring. I can't do the whole sentence like that. Yes, you can Go for it. Then I will begin to flow, and begin to flow violently. And in the water everything was drowned the girl, the little tree, the ash heap, the little cart, the broom, the little door, the flea, the little louse, all together, oh man, that was the end of it, and we never got any eggshell beer.

07:25

They drowned everybody. Well, I don't disagree with that ending because that was annoying. What the heck kind of story was that it went from really small.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:39

That was weird.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:40

It's kind of like that one story where the spider eats the flea, the little old lady who swallowed the fly, the fly.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:47

yes, Perhaps she'll die. Yes, that's it. Maybe we should do that one.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:53

Well, I could sing that one.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:56

I know that one, and now Dustin is going to sing.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:02

I know an old lady who swallowed a goat. She opened up her throat and walked a goat.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:09

A goat.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:11

She swallowed the goat to catch the dog. She swallowed the dog to catch the cat. This story is done.

Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:18

Very good. Thank you for listening. Wow Interesting. Bye, bye, thank you for listening.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:25

Wow, interesting, bye, bye. What the crap was that?