The Prince and the Three Fates Transcript
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:04
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam I can't hold my breath that long.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:08
I'm old and fat.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:10
Where we read to you fairy tales from across the world.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:15
Around the world.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:18
This is a tale from Egyptian Egyptian folklore, egyptian folklore, egyptian folklore. It's called the Prince and the Three Fates. But first let's talk to you about a little thing called Twitter and my good friend Dustin, who is bored on Twitter Because no one wants to follow us.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:44
No one wants to tweet us. You keep saying that I'm bored on Twitter, but I'm not. I just tweet myself.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:49
Dustin needs to tweet real people other than himself, so get on it. Download the app and tweet your heart out.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:00
Just search Tales of Bedlam. Or you can just the handle is at Tales of Bedlam, it's nice and easy. Or you can hashtag Bricklebrit and I'll find you.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:10
Anywho give us a call at our phone number Dustin.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:14
Oh, I have to remember to go 417-501-4681.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:17
That's it. Leave a message so that you can be on our podcast Without further ado. Dustin, the Prince and the Three Fates.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:30
Excellent. This sounds very Grimmish. After looking over all the Grimms to the 200 Grimm titles, I could very easily see the Prince and the Three Fates in there.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:43
Anyway.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:44
Once upon a time, time, what started out very grimmish. A little boy was born to a king who ruled over a great country through which ran a wide river. I wonder which river that was. The king was nearly very good, by the way, for not knowing Egypt was in Africa. I knew that the king was nearly beside himself with joy. He was nearly beside himself with joy.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:13
Just almost, but he hadn't broke over to the wine.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:16
I'm so excited, but not really, for he had always longed for a son to inherit his crown, and he sent messages to beg all the most powerful fairies to come and see this wonderful baby. This is very grimmish in an hour or two, wasn't that? Uh, sleeping beauty? The king wanted to have all the the fairies over, right in an hour or maybe two in an hour or two.
02:45
So many were gathered that was quick, really. An hour or two. So many were gathered around the cradle that the child seemed in danger of being smothered by fairies lovely, but the king, who was watching the fairies eagerly, was disturbed to see them looking grave. Is there anything the matter? He asked anxiously.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:06
The fairies looked at him and all shook their heads at once.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:11
He is a beautiful boy and it is a great pity, but what is to happen will happen. Ruh-roh said they it is written in the books of fate that he must die either by a crocodile or a serpent or by a dog.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:32
Brutal A dog. Dogs are like man's best friend Not if they're eating your kid. I guess this is Egypt, though. So wouldn't cat be a man's best friend, yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:45
Dogs are bad, cats are good.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:47
If we could save him, we would, but that is beyond our power.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:52
And so saying they vanished. Wow, what a bunch of worthless fairies, useless fairies.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:59
Your kid's going to die. It's going to be a snake, a crocodile or a dog. Bye, get some useful fairies. So far, I'm uh, this is very fairy tale grimace.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:15
Yeah, it's very odd crocodile no.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:16
Crocodiles in germany no dragons in germany it would have been a donkey.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:27
Killed by a donkey.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:29
For a time the king stood where. He was horror stricken at what he had heard, but being of a hopeful nature.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:38
Always the optimist.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:40
He was nearly beside himself with joy. He began at once to invent plans to save the prince from the dreadful doom that awaited him. Let me guess he was going to banish all the serpents and dogs and crocodiles.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:51
No, it's more like Tangled Okay.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:54
He instantly sent Tangled.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:58
Rapunzel, that's in Great Britain, rapunzel.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:06
Oh, my gosh Please don't mind me.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:09
Actually Rapunzel's story started in Russia. The earliest Rapunzel story started in Russia.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:17
You have to excuse Mike and his mental breakdown. He's been having psychotic breaks lately and if you would like uh proof of that, you can go to our website and click on the comments for the clever gretel story don't touch the belly button he's gone off the rails, okay.
05:40
So, uh, he was uh, invent plans to save the prince from dreadful doom that awaited him. He instantly sent for his master builder this is a Lego guy and made him construct a strong castle on top of a mountain, oh, which should be fitted with the most precious things from the king's own palace and every kind of toy the child could wish to play with Legos. See, there's a.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:06
I don't know this is gonna end, but so far the king's doing all right he's just trying to protect his kid right being a good parent, right locking him up in a castle and well, that was uh sleeping beauty.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:19
But they got rid of all the spindles but the one that they kept in the the tower. Let's not go back there, morons. And besides, he gave the strictest orders that a guard should walk around the castle day and night. A guard One, okay.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:36
That's all you need, right, okie doke.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:40
It's a small castle For a baby.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:44
Baby castle.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:47
Like one of those bouncy castles. So just theoretically say, a serpent and a dog and a crocodile all came up at once, but you only have one guard. So I would have had probably at least three guards yeah, just saying you got a point yeah, because you take out the snake but then the crocodile sneaks around you while you're taking out of that and then dead kid four or five years.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:09
Uh, the baby lived in the castle I love how vague this is one to two hours, four or five years I'm considering the other stories we've had.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:20
I see it's very specific I don't know, because we're like one minute the kids, a baby and then the next second, the kids like 12 and you're like what a way, whoa, what happened okay?
07:35
okay thank you. Uh, for four or five years, the baby lived in the castle alone with his nurses, taking his earrings on the broad terrace, on the broad terraces. So he's going outside on the terrace which we what are you doing? I'm airing I thought you were having a stroke which were surrounded by walls, with a moat beneath them, which just invites crocodiles and only a drawbridge to connect them with the outer world.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:06
One day, when the prince was old enough to run quite fast by himself, he looked from the terrace across the boat and saw a little soft, fluffy ball of a dog jumping and playing on the other side. Now, of course, all dogs have been kept from him for fear that the fairy's prophecy should come true, and he had never even beheld one before. So he turned to the page who was walking behind him and said what is that funny little thing which is running so fast over there?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:45
So, um, I'm just going to interject here. This might turn into a really long story. I'm liking this one so far. But if a bunch of fairies said that your kid was going to be killed by a dog, a serpent or a crocodile, why would you not sit your kid down with a book of pictures and say this is a dog, this is a snake, this is a crocodile? Why would you not sit your kid down with a book of pictures and say this is a dog, this is a snake, this is a crocodile. Don't go near him. Why would you keep him all away from him?
09:13
Because he's going to see this thing and he doesn't know what it is. And he's going to be instantly curious If they had sat him down and said well, this is a dog you don't want to go near it, It'll kill you.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:23
He would have known. Well, he's only four or five years old.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:26
That's plenty to understand. Don't touch that Hot Ouch Bad.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:33
Okay, I agree. Then you're going to hate what the dad does next.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:37
Oh great. Just lovely, that is a dog. Prince answered the page.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:48
Well, bring me one like it, no, and we will see which can run the faster, and he watched the dog till it disappeared around the corner uh, the page was much puzzled to know what to do.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:58
It doesn't seem like he should be puzzled. He should just say no but he had strict orders oh, he had strict orders to refuse the prince nothing. Well, this is just poor planning. Yeah, he remembered the prophecy and felt that it was. This was a serious matter. I'd say it was a serious matter. At last he thought that he better tell the king the whole story and let him decide the question. Okay, well, he had some sense. Good, oh, get him a dog if he wants one.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:35
What he wants. A snake, sure, let him have one. A pet crocodile, as long as it stays in the tank.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:46
I was having a little bit of an eye issue this week, so I'm going to rub my eyes and then I'm going to look at this again and see if that says what I thought. It said oh, get him a dog if he wants one. Yeah, it said, said the king, he will only cry his heart out if he does not have it. So. So a puppy was found, exactly like the other. They might have been twins, perhaps they were, perhaps they were. Um, no, no, he built a whole castle and tower for him to keep him away from these things.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:22
Years went by and the boy and the dog played together till the boy grew tall and strong. The time came at last when he sent a message to his father saying what why do you keep me shut up here?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:37
doing nothing.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:39
I know all about the prophecy that was made at my birth, but I would far rather be killed at once than live an idle, useless life here. So give me arms and let me go. I pray you, me, and my dog too I had another thought.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:00
We're never gonna get through this. So the fairies just said that he would die by the crocodile, the dog or the they didn't know which. But they didn't say when.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:13
No, they didn't.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:14
It could have been on, he would nine ninety nine years.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:17
Yeah, he could have been.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:18
He tripped over his dog and right or whatever. I'm not saying anything, but you were very close. Oh my gosh, oh geez. And again the king listened to his wishes I could write these stories, apparently and he and his dog were carried in a ship to the other side of the river, which was so broad here it might almost have been the sea, it was the.
12:42
Nile, a black horse was waiting for him. Oh nice, black horses usually are portents of something tied to a tree, and he mounted and rode away wherever his fancy took him, the dog always at his heels. Never was any prince so happy as he, and he rode and rode till at length. He came to the king's palace.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:05
Another king.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:06
Another king.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:07
The king who lived in it did not care about looking after his country and seeing that his people lived cheerfully and contented lives. So he's kind of a jerk Jerk king.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:21
Shouldn't it be a pharaoh?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:23
I think that this is translated in more of a English, because there's elements of this that are totally Egyptian. And then there's elements like they say, castle. Egyptians didn't have castles, did they?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:41
I don't know, I'm sure they did, but they didn't call them castles, but they didn't call them castles.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:46
Exactly, they didn't call them castles, they didn't probably. Maybe they called them kingdoms, I don't know. I think that it's just been translated into English.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:58
Ugh white people. They appropriate everything. Don't get upset, Just keep reading.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:07
Just because you're black and I'm blue, whoa, okay, black and blue. The king who lived in it did not care about looking after his country and seeing that his people lived cheerfully and contented lives. He spent his whole time in making riddles and inventing plans which he had much better have left alone.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:30
Huh Interesting.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:31
At the period when the young prince reached the kingdom, he had just completed a wonderful house for his only child, ugh. Can you guess? Brother, a daughter.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:44
And she was beautiful and he saw her and he was instantly in love.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:49
Well, and they?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:49
got married without her consent.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:51
Not quite. It had 70 windows each 70 feet from the ground, holy crap. So you have 70 windows times 70 feet, that's 1,400 feet. That's a huge tower, right it's a giant window. Yeah, oh wait, I did that wrong. 70, 70.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:15
49. Yeah, 4,900.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:17
490 feet 4,900. That's okay, because we know that Egypt is in South America.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:24
Well, it didn't say that they were stacked on each other, so maybe there's 70 windows, like in a circle.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:28
Well, you have 70 windows, each 70 feet from the ground.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:33
Oh, yeah, maybe we just built them in a big circle.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:36
I'm going to cut all this out? Why? Because this is going to be long enough as it is and he had sent the royal herald round the borders of the neighboring kingdoms to proclaim and whoever would climb up the walls to the window of the princess should win her for his wife see I told you no consent.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:57
Just win a. Win a game, get the princess that's not how it ends out the fame of the princess's beauty had spread far and wide, and there was no lack of princes who wished to try their fortune. Sounds very familiar, very funny. The palace must have looked each morning with the dabs of different color on the white marble, as the princes were climbing up the walls. It's very true.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host16:24
It's a funny idea though, isn't it? It's like little polka-dotted princes all over the world.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:29
But though some managed to get further than others, nobody was anywhere near the top. So it does sound like they were stacked like one on each other. That's a long way. That's a mile of windows. They had already been spending several days in this matter when the young prince arrived, and, as he was pleasant to look upon, of course and civil to talk to why not?
16:51
they welcomed him to their house, which had been given to them, and saw that his bath was properly perfumed after his long journey. Where do you come from, they? They said at last and whose son are you?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host17:07
but the young prince had reasons for keeping his own secret unanswered after my mother died. He married another wife. At first all went well, but as soon as she had babies of her own, she hated me and I fled. At least she should do me harm it seemed like an convoluted story.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:37
The heart of the other young men were so touched as soon as they heard this story and they did everything they could to make him forget his past sorrows what what are you doing here, said the youth one day it's like mickey mouse and uh well, he started out as me. I gotcha we we spend our whole time climbing up the walls of the palace trying to reach the window of the princess, answered the young man, but as yet no one has reached within ten feet of them oh, let me try too.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:11
Let me try, cried the prince. But tomorrow I will wait and see what you do before I begin this is getting weird.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host18:20
So the next day he's now just now getting weird. It's getting weirder by the minute. Where's the dog? So what? Yeah?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:30
I, I'm getting, uh, I'm getting, a notification from my wife that I need to be quiet what I'm being too loud, no, oh, quiet in the peanut gallery.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host18:44
So the next day he stood where he could watch the young men go up and he noted the places on the wall that seemed most difficult and made up his mind that when his turn came he would go up some other way. Well, he's clever. At least. Day after day he was. So he uh. Day after day he was to be seen watching the wooers. Till one morning he felt that he knew the plan of the walls by heart and took his place by the side of the others. Thanks to what he had learned from the failure of the rest, he managed to grasp one little rough projection after another till at last, to the envy of his friends, he stood on the sill of the princess's window, starting up from his throne.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host19:54
Which of the princes may I claim as my son-in-law?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host19:59
The youth who succeeded in climbing the princess's window is not a prince at all, answered the young man. He is the son of the master of the horse to the great king who dwells across the river, and he fled from his own country to escape from the hatred of his stepmother at this news, the king was very angry, for it had never entered his head that anyone but a prince would seek to woo his daughter.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host20:29
Entitlement. Let me go back to the land whence he came, he shouted. Let me go back to the land whence he came, he shouted in wrath. Does he expect me to give my daughter to an exile? And he began to smash the drinking vessels in his fury, indeed, he quite frightened the young man, who ran hastily home to his friends and told the youth what the king had said.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host20:59
Take a pill dude. Deep breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth. Now the princess, who was leaning from her window, heard his words and bade the messenger go back to the king, her father, and tell him that she had sworn a vow never to eat or drink again if the youth was taken from her she liked him brother.
21:24
the king was more angry than ever when he received this message and ordered his guard to go at once to the palace and put the successful wooer to death. Ouch, she's really mad. But the princess threw herself between him and his murderers.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host21:41
Lay a finger on him and I shall be dead before sunset said she.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host21:47
It's a little Romeo and Juliet thing going on. And as they saw she meant it, they left the palace and carried the tale to her father.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host21:55
By this time the king's anger was drying away, drying away, dying away, and he began to consider what his people would think of him if he broke the promise he had publicly given. So he ordered the princess to be brought before him, and the young man also, and when they entered the throne room, he was so pleased with the noble air of the victor that his wrath quite melted away. And he ran to him, ran to him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host22:27
He ran to him.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host22:28
And embraced him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host22:30
This king's a little, uh, bipolar.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host22:32
Apparently there's some weird mood swings going on well, you remember, this is the king who doesn't care about his people well, I know he's yeah, okay.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host22:42
Well, that's what it said in the beginning, that's what he said.
22:44
That doesn't. He's just a kook. Tell me who you are. He asked when he had recovered himself a little, for I will never believe that you have not royal blood in your veins. But the prince still had his reasons for being silent, I hope. Do we get to learn his reasons at some point? I hope so. And only told the same story. However, the king had taken such a fancy to the youth that he said no more, and the marriage took place the following day and great herds of cattle and large estates were given to the young couple. Do you?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host23:19
think that his reasons to keep it quiet is just he's trying to protect his story that he could be killed by a dog, a serpent or a crocodile.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host23:32
I don't know. I haven't read the story. What do you think?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host23:36
No, I'm just saying.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host23:40
I think it's to further the plot.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host23:42
Hmm.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host23:45
You know what else could further the plot, I don't know. A break.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host23:50
Oh, thank goodness, I don't know A break. Oh, thank goodness, I gotta rest my butt.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host23:54
Time to make some money. Sorry folks, but we have to assail you with these commercials so that we can make some money.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host24:04
That's right, it's been coming in hand over fist too. Tell you what we had 49 orders for our musical compilation from last week. That's a lot, I guess. Start this one, sure? Oh right, you can never be too careful when entering into a contractual agreement agreed I agree one minute you could be lost in the woods and the next thing you know you've agreed to give up your child for directions. Oh, bad deal.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host24:37
Happens all the time, though. Bad deal. Or you find yourself locked in a tower full of straw with a spinning wheel and, before you know it, you've agreed to give up your future firstborn to turn it into gold.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host24:52
I hate when that happens. That's another bad deal, not well thought through.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host24:57
No.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host24:58
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Micah (Knob Twister)Host25:05
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Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host25:16
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Micah (Knob Twister)Host25:29
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Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host25:45
the choice of legal representation should not be based solely on advertisement. That's what it is so call today. Either way, we'd love to give you advice, but don't take it to heart.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host26:04
And don't base the possibility of you going to jail on our advice. So let's recap oh, no, no, no, we have a prince who can die at any time, who knows when? By a fluffy dog, a serpent or maybe a crocodile?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host26:22
And the only thing we've come across so far is a dog which apparently disappeared once he crossed the river.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host26:30
I believe it's his companion. He took it with him on his black steed.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host26:34
No mention of the dog since then.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host26:36
He came to the new kingdom, climbed a tower that, until that point, was unscalable by all the other princesses, all the other princes that wanted to win the princess's hand in marriage.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host26:52
He made it, though, and a white ghost hand pulled him in and it sounded like for the first time we had a consensual marriage.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:01
It's not a marriage yet, oh, after a little, while the prince said to his oh. Hmm, maybe it was oh yeah, hmm. Maybe it was oh yeah, hmm, it's okay, because we all know that Egypt is in Africa. Greenland.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host27:19
What South America?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:21
After a little while, the prince said to his wife my life is in the hands of three creatures A crocodile, a serpent and a dog. Oh, how rash you are cried the princess, which is an appropriate response.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host27:39
Well right, that was a weird thing to throw at her, throwing her arms around his neck.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:45
If you know that, how can you have that horrid beast about you? I will give orders to have him killed at once.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:52
But the prince would not listen to her. Kill my dear little dog. How dare you, who had been my playfellow since he was a puppy, exclaimed he. Oh, never, would I allow that, never. And all the princess could get from him was that he would always wear a sword and have somebody with him when he left the palace.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host28:20
That's going to be like old Yeller. Is he going to have to kill the dog? This is sad. You're going to have to get some tissues. When the prince and princess had been married a few months, the prince heard that his stepmother was dead. There was a stepmother. Did I miss something?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host28:38
Remember he said that his stepmother didn't like him after, but that was made up. It really wasn't made up.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host28:48
It wasn't made up.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host28:50
It's an inconsistency in the story, because when I read that earlier I was preparing for today's show, I did look back and it doesn't mention the stepmother whatsoever.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host29:03
Yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host29:05
Not once in the story, nothing until now, it was his story, but obviously there was some truth to it okie doke.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host29:14
Well, that's just just a huge plot hole. The prince heard that his stepmother was dead and his father was old and ill and longing to have his eldest son by his side again. The young man could not remain deaf to such a message, and he took a tender farewell of his wife and set out on his journey home Bye. It was a long way and he was forced to rest often on the road, and so it happened that one night, while he was sleeping in a city on the banks of the Great River a huge huge crocodile came silently up and made its way along a passage to the prince's room what okay?
30:01
is he just? He's just over this tunnel that leads to the sewer or the river and he's just sleeping in there. What it was? A huge crocodile. Oh, it's still me fortunately one of his guards woke up as he was trying to steal past them and shut the crocodile up in a large hall where a giant watched over it.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host30:24
Nice yeah, I guess there's giants.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host30:26
Just have giants laying around to watch the crocodiles. Never leaving the spot except during the night when the crocodile slept. That's what the Well? This whole paragraph is just weird, and this went on for more than a month.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host30:43
So the prince cannot leave unless the crocodile's sleeping. Why doesn't the giant just kill the crocodile?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host30:51
I thought he was on his way home. Why is he staying there for a month?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host30:55
Well, he stopped there to rest. The crocodile came. I got that he's obviously blocking his way out. Can't he like go out a window or something? He can only leave when the crocodile's asleep.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host31:09
Right, so he can leave when the crocodile's asleep, right, so he can leave when the crocodile's asleep. So he waits for the crocodile to go to sleep and leaves and gets on his horse and continues his journey. True that?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host31:21
But no, he's going to stay there for a month at least, For more than a month. Now, when the prince found that he was an idiot and could have left a long time ago, was not likely to leave his father's kingdom again.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host31:37
What? Well, you added a bunch of crazy stuff in the middle.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host31:40
Now, when the prince found that he was not likely to leave his father's kingdom again, he sent for his wife and made the mess. So he's already at the kingdom then what? But that's?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host31:53
not what the story said. He's sleeping in a city on the banks of the great river. So did he get over the river? Because over the river is his father's kingdom. So he made it over the river and he's at a city on the edge this is gonna take a lot of editing so he in the kingdom, but he's not to his father.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host32:11
Now, when the prince found that he was not likely to leave his father's kingdom again because the crocodile was blocking the way he sent for his wife and bade the messenger tell her that he would await her coming in the town on the banks of the great river. So the town is in the kingdom, okay, yeah, and for some reason he can't go out unless the crocodile's sleeping. So I don't think it's that he is in the room that the crocodile's sitting at, it's just that the crocodile might find him if he goes out when it's not sleeping, I guess.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host32:52
Apparently they have the same mushrooms in Egypt as they have in Germany and in South Africa. Does this make any sense?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host33:03
This was the reason why he delayed his journey so long and narrowly escaped being eaten by the crocodile. During the weeks that followed, the prince amused himself as best he could, though. He counted the minutes to the arrival of the princess, and when she did come, he at once prepared to start for the court what so he, I don't know. Okay, the very night, however, while he was asleep, the princess noticed something strange in one of the corners of the room. It was a dark patch and seemed, as she looked, to grow longer and longer.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host33:45
Oh, I don't like this part.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host33:46
And to be moving slowly towards the cushions on which the prince was lying. She shrank in terror. But slight as was the noise, the thing heard it and raised its head to listen.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host34:01
Oh man, I've got to read the snake part.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host34:05
I made sure you did.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host34:08
Then she saw it was the long, flat head of a serpent and the recollection of the prophecy rushed into her mind. How would you forget something like that?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host34:18
I don't know. Hey, I'm going to die by either a dog, a serpent or a crocodile. Oh it's very specific. I would remember that the rest of my life.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host34:28
But it came rushing back. I would remember that the rest of my life. But came rushing back Without waking her husband. She glided out of bed and taking up a heavy bowl of milk which stood on a table, okie doke Laid it on the floor in the path of the serpent. This is scientific. Okay, this is proven by real scientists, for she knew that no serpent in the world can resist milk. I don't have to.
35:01
I'm choc, I'm gonna put that one in the memory, because I'm not a huge fan of snakes and if all I gotta do is carry some milk around, I'm on it. She held her breath as the snake drew near and watched it throw up its head again as if it was smelling something nice, while its forky tongue darted out greedily oh, I've got to go home and sleep tonight. You know, at length its eyes fell upon the milk and in an instant it was lapping it up so fast that it was a wonder the creature did not choke. I've never seen a snake drink milk. This is nonsense, for it never took its head from the bowl as long as a drop was left in it. Come on, after that, it dropped on the ground and slept heavily. Of course, it just drank a bunch of milk. This was what the princess had been waiting for and, catching up her husband's sword, she severed the snake's head from its body. Yoo-hoo.
36:01
Nice job my favorite part of the story so far.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host36:04
The morning after this adventure, the prince and princess set out for the king's palace.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host36:10
I guess they didn't have to worry about the crocodile anymore, but found when they reached it that he was already dead.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host36:19
Ah too bad, bum, bum, bum, too bad. They gave him a magnificent burial, and when the prince had to examine the new laws which had been made in his absence and do a great deal of business besides still, he grew quite ill from fatigue and was obliged to go away to one of his palaces on the banks of the river in order to rest. Wow, that's a long sentence.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host36:44
Let's just stay away from the river dummy, it's Egypt.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host36:49
There's not many places to go.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host36:53
He had to go to the river. So just stay where you are or go laterally.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host36:59
Here. He soon got better and began to hunt and to shoot wild duck with his bow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host37:06
That's rough Wow, hunt and to shoot wild duck with his bow.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host37:08
That's rough, wow. And wherever he went, his dog now grown very old went with him one morning the prince and his dog were out as usual, and in chasing their game they drew near the bank of the river. The prince was running at full speed after his dog when he almost fell over something that looked like a log of wood, hmm, which was lying in his path. Hmm, to his surprise, a voice spoke to him, great, and he saw that the thing which he had taken for a branch was really a crocodile.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host37:46
Not only a crocodile, a literate speaking crocodile. Yes, I've got to do a crocodile voice Please.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host37:56
What does a crocodile voice sound like?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host37:58
I don't know. You cannot escape from me. It was saying when he had gathered his senses again I am your fate and wherever you go and whatever you do, you will always find me before you it's like peter pan and captain hook there is only one means of shaking off my power. If you can dig a pit in the dry sand, which will remain full of water, my spell will be broken. If not, death will come to you speedily. I give you this one chance Now go.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host38:40
What a random thing If you can dig a pit and fill it with water and it doesn't leak. Yeah, that's not happening. Dig a pit in the sand.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host38:48
That's just the nature of sand. Well, it depends. If the sand was on bedrock, never mind.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host38:55
I guess he gave him an impossible task.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host38:58
Yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host39:00
Because he's his fate.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host39:02
Yeah, he's gonna eat him.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host39:04
Like in Vasilisa and the Pea. The dragon was like a pea will slay me.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host39:13
The impossible task. Yeah, what happened? Oh, it happened. The pea whooped his butt. The young man walked sadly away. Oh, and he didn't even try. Hang on, okay. And when he reached the palace, he shut himself into his room and for the rest of the day refused to see anyone, not even his wife. At sunset, however, as no sound could be heard through the door, the princess grew quite frightened and made such a noise that the prince was forced to draw back the bolt and let her come in.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host39:47
How pale you look.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host39:49
She cried.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host39:50
Has anything hurt? You Tell me, I pray you, what is the matter, for perhaps I can help.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host39:57
So the prince told her the whole story and of the impossible task given him by the crocodile. How can a sand hole remain full of water, asked he. Of course it will all run through. The crocodile called it a chance, but he might as well have dragged me into the river at once. He said truly that I cannot escape him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host40:22
Just don't go back to the river. Ah, these people Get your giant. Oh, if that is all, cried the princess, I people Get your giant. Oh, if that is all, cried the princess, I can set you free myself, for my fairy godmother taught me oh man.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host40:40
For my fairy godmother taught me to know the use of plants, and in the desert not far from here there grows a little four-leafed herb which will keep the water in the pit for a whole year.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host40:53
That's a handy fairy godmother to have around.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host40:56
Mm-hmm, I will go in search of it at dawn and you can begin to dig the hole as soon as you like.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host41:02
To comfort her husband. The princess had spoken lightly and gaily, but she knew very well she had no light task before her. Still, she was full of courage and energy and determined that one way or another her husband would be saved. A nice, strong woman character. It's nice, she's the hero of the story for sure don't spoil.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host41:25
Is she not already sounding like a hero?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host41:30
She's a butt kicker.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host41:31
Rah rah, rah, rah, re, kick him in the knee. I'm not finishing that.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host41:40
It was still starlight when she left the palace on a snow white donkey Nice.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host41:46
Donkeys.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host41:48
And rode away from the river straight to the west. For some time she could see nothing before her but a flat waste of sand she's in the sahara desert which became hotter and hotter as the sun rose, higher and higher desert. Then a dreadful thirst seized her and the donkey. Not the donkey, she should have taken a camel, but there was no steam to quench it, sorry.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host42:19
I always look for good steam when I'm thirsty.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host42:24
But there was no stream to quench it. That's better. And if there had, been she wouldench it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host42:27
That's better.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host42:28
And if there had been, she would hardly have had time to stop. She still had far to go and must be back before evening or else the cro-.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host42:41
Man, are you going to be?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host42:43
all right, I don't know, I can't speak, or else the crocodile might declare that the prince had not fulfilled his conditions. So she spoke cheering words to her donkey, who brayed in reply ah, dang it, go ahead and you do it you did it, it it's good. And the two pushed steadily on.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host43:10
Nicely done, donkey. Oh, how glad they both were when they caught sight of a tall rock in the distance. They forgot that they were thirsty and that the sun was hot and that the ground and the ground seemed to fly under their feet till the donkey stopped of its own accord in the cool shadow. But though the donkey might rest, the princess could not, for the plant, as she knew, grew on the very top of the rock and a wide chasm ran about the foot of it. Luckily she had brought a rope with her.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host43:43
Luckily she had brought a rope, or maybe she had thought ahead.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host43:49
Yes, and making a noose at one end. Oh, she's gonna hang the donkey. She flung it across with all her might the first time. It slid back slowly into the ditch oh, this is. Look, this is like a action movie going on here. And she had to draw it up and throw it again. But at length the noose caught on something. The princess could not see what, and she had to trust her whole weight to the little bridge. Dun dun dun. This is like Mission Impossible, which might snap and let her fall deep down among the rocks. Dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun. And in that case her death was as certain as that of the prince, but nothing so dreadful happened.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host44:37
Oh boo, the princess got safely to the other side and then became the worst part of her task.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host44:44
Oh dear.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host44:45
As fast as she put her foot on a ledge of the rock, the stone broke away from under her and left her in the same place as before.
44:57
Meanwhile the hours were passing and it was nearly noon. The heart of the poor princess was filled with despair, but she would not give up the struggle. She looked round till she saw a small stone above her, which seemed rather stronger than the rest, and by only poising her foot lightly on those that lay between, she managed to buy. A great effort to reach it. Yes, it's like Indiana Jones. A great effort to reach it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host45:27
It's like Indiana.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host45:27
Jones In this way, with torn and bleeding hands she gained the top, but here such a violent wind was blowing that she was almost blinded with dust and was obliged to throw herself on the ground and feel about after the precious herb.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host45:46
It's exactly like Indiana Jones. It's amazing. For a few terrible moments she thought that the rock was bare and that her journey had been to no purpose. Feel where she would, there was nothing but grit and stones. When suddenly her fingers touched something soft in the crevice, it was a plant, that was clear. But was it the right one? See, she could not, for the wind was blowing more fiercely than ever. So she lay where she was and counted the leaves One, two, three, yes, yes, poison.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host46:23
Ivy, there were four.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host46:26
There was only three, she went back itchily. No, there were four. There was only three. And she went back itchily. No, there were four. And, plucking a leaf, she held it safe in her hand while she turned, almost stunned by the wind, to go down the rock. Nicely done, princess. When, once she was safely over the side all became still in a moment and she slid down the rock so fast that it was only a wonder that she did not land in the chasm. Wow. However, by good luck, she stopped quite close to her rope bridge and was soon across on it. She's crazy. She's a crazy girl. She's like Tomb Raider, she's going nuts. She's a crazy girl. She's like Tomb Raider, she's going nuts. She's awesome.
47:11
The donkey brayed joyfully hee-haw at the sight of her and set off home at his best speed, never seeming to know that the earth under his feet was nearly as hot as the sun above him. Go donkey.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host47:21
Wow, on the bank of the great river. He halted and the princess rushed up to where the prince was standing, by the pit he had digged in the dirt, he had digged in the dry sand.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host47:37
That's not right, is it Dug Digged? It says digged yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host47:42
I guess it would be dug With a huge water pot beside it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host47:47
All right.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host47:48
A little way off, the crocodile lay blinking in the sun with his sharp teeth and whitey yellow jaws wide open, he's going to eat him. At a signal from the princess. The prince poured the water in the hole and the moment it reached the brim, the princess flung the four-leaf plant. Would the charm work?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host48:13
Would it work?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host48:14
Or would the water trickle away slowly through the sand and the prince fall victim to that horrible monster Dun-dun-dun? For half an hour they stood with their eyes rooted to the spot, but the hole remained as full as at the beginning, with the little green leaf floating on the top. Then the prince turned with a shout of triumph.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host48:39
Hurrah Huzzah.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host48:42
And the crocodile sulkily plunged into the river.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host48:50
Alas, our the prince had escaped forever the second of his three fates. The second, the snake and the crocodile are done. He stood there looking after the crocodile and rejoicing that he was free, when he was startled by a wild duck, which flew past him, seeking shelter among the rushes that bordered the edge of the stream. In another instant, his dog dashed by in hot pursuit. Oh, the damn dog.
49:17
And knocked heavily against his master's legs. Oh, who saw it coming? The prince, staggered, lost his balance and fell backwards into the river, where the mud and the rushes caught him and held him fast. I saw coming the end shrieked for his wife. The end he shrieked for his wife to help, who came running and luckily brought her rope, her magic rope luckily again way to go.
49:42
Indiana wife, the poor old dog was drowned. The poor old dog was drowned, but the prince was pulled to shore. My wife, he said, has been stronger than my fate and we finally have a consensual marriage and a good, strong woman.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host50:07
So true.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host50:08
That beat fate.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host50:11
If we all could have wives.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host50:13
Nicely done.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host50:14
Egypt Props to you that are stronger than our fates.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host50:18
Why are wife's stronger than my fate? Are you laughing? She'll kick your ass.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host50:23
I wasn't laughing at her.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host50:27
I'm telling her she'll kick your ass tomorrow night so what do you think? That was a good one. I liked it. It was intense. I had my heart racing those african tales that was a good one.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host50:44
I like the e Egypt tale it was a little bit different than some of the Grimm's.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host50:48
I mean it had a lot of the it had a happy ending well, most of the Grimm tales have happy endings well, if you discount the stepsisters killing themselves, yeah, it's not happening death and dying and non-consensual marriages that people are forced into forever and ever.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host51:09
That is a big difference. There was a consensual marriage. That was nice.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host51:14
Good, I like the Egypt story. Let's do it again. We'll start at the beginning.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host51:19
No.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host51:19
The prince and the three faiths.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host51:21
We're already at an hour, really.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host51:24
Yes, oh, nicely done. It's a good one. Yeah, that was engaging Good night and it had, and it ended. That's the thing it ended. It had an ending. That's what I liked about this story the most.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host51:44
They all have an ending.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host51:45
No, some of them just stop Doesn't mean they have an ending. No, some of them just stop doesn't mean they have an ending. And some of them end with there goes the mouse, make it into a hat, which doesn't mean anything. This was a.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host52:00
It had closure, a clear ending closure, lived happily ever after without a dog.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host52:10
They got another dog Bye. Good night.