The Three Journeymen Transcript
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:07
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam. I'm your host, micah. I'm Batman, and we have two special hosts with us today.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:15
Special guests. They're so special.
Speaker 3Host00:18
Hi, I'm Batman's wife.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:21
Oh, it's Mrs Batman.
Speaker 3Host00:23
Mrs Batman, and I'm Knob Twister's wife.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:27
Whoa.
Speaker 3Host00:29
Whoa.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:29
It's getting weird already, that's bad.
Speaker 3Host00:32
Oh yeah, sorry.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:37
Oh, no we decided to have our wives sit in for a couple of our recordings and today we're doing the. Three Journeymen, which is a Grimm's fairy tale lovely, the three journeymen.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:50
Yes, and we only have two men here yes and two wonderful one of them's narrating.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:55
So we have some lovely ladies that have to talk like gentlemen patriarchal but before we get started, I'd like to remind you all that we are going to be at Vision Con in Springfield, Missouri. May yes, I almost made that mistake again May 10th, 11th and 12th. If you want to purchase tickets, go to our website at talesofbedlamcom.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:24
Click on the link, yeah. See who see who's gonna be there?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:28
daryl from walking dead's gonna be there oh, daryl it's not really him, though it's not really him which dustin pointed out in our last episode.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:38
He looks just like him though just like him.
Speaker 3Host01:42
Really, where did you see him?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:43
on the website. Go to tales of bedlamcom and click on the vision con link.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:48
You can see him as well yes, and if you're there at tales of bedlamcom, please go ahead and leave a comment on one of your favorite episodes. Oh yeah, we like that a lot and dustin will comment back to you I will I say. I say nice things All the time, so without further ado, let's start the three journeymen there were I have to be like a dude.
02:12
Wow, there were once three journeymen who had agreed to stay together during their travels and to always work in the same city. They were best buds, they were bros. Yet after a while their masters couldn't pay them and eventually they had nothing to live on and were reduced to rags.
Speaker 5Host02:34
What shall we do?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:36
Said the first.
Speaker 4Host02:37
We can't stay here any longer.
Speaker 6Host02:39
Said the second.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:43
Let's stop. I worry this is going to take hours. Let's out, let's let's deep breaths.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:00
Maybe this is a mistake.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:02
Let's set out on our travels again. Then, if we don't find any work in the next city we come to, we'll part ways, Said the third. We're six lines in people.
Speaker 3Host03:25
But before we do that, let's arrange with the innkeeper that way we write to him about our whereabouts so that each of us can get news of the others through him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:37
That's a good plan.
Speaker 3Host03:39
Then we can separate.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:41
His companions thought that this was the best solution. While they were still conversing with one another, a richly clad gentleman came upon them and asked them who they were.
Speaker 3Host03:54
We're journeymen and are looking for work. We've been together until now, but since we can't find any work, we're going to part ways.
Speaker 6Host04:04
There's no need for that, said the man. If you'll do what I tell you, you'll have more than enough money to work. In fact, you'll become respected gentlemen and will be able to drive around in carriages.
Speaker 3Host04:20
Ruh-roh, just as long as we won't be endangering our souls in salvation, we'll do whatever you want.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:29
This is not going to end well. I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 6Host04:33
No responded the man I won't make any claims on your souls.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:39
However, one of the journeymen had been looking at the man's feet and when he caught sight of a horse's hoof and a human foot, he didn't want to have anything to do with him.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:50
Creepy Liars.
Speaker 6Host04:52
But the devil said you have nothing to fear. I am not interested in your souls, but in someone else's Creep and he's already half mine, and his time is about to run out. What?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:09
Since they now felt safe. What that feels safe. Well, that was their first mistake. They agreed to the devil's proposal. That was their second mistake. Here we go and told them what he wanted them to do.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:27
No, this doesn't end well.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:31
The first journeyman was to answer every question with All three of us. The second with.
Speaker 5Host05:39
For the money.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:41
The third with that's alright, or the money, the third with that's all right. These answers were to be given one after the other, but the men were not allowed to say anything else. How bizarre is that.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:52
Geez, they agreed to this. Well, I guess he's kind of telling the terms after they agree.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:00
Maybe they should have asked first well, what is it I have to do Right Flay myself.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:05
They needed to call the lawyers. Don't tell me what to say. Maybe they should have asked first well, what is it I have to do? Right Flay myself. They needed to call the lawyers.
Speaker 3Host06:10
Don't tell me what to say Rumpelstiltskin skin, what? Don't tell me what to say. I don't like to be told what to say.
Speaker 4Host06:15
Oh.
Speaker 3Host06:15
That's what I would say.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:17
To the devil.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:18
To the devil.
Speaker 3Host06:18
Yeah, you're not the boss of me.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:25
So they were not allowed to say anything else. If they didn't follow the devil's instructions, then all their money would disappear immediately, but as long as they followed them, their pockets would always be full. This is kind of like bearskin.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:39
Well, it doesn't seem very onerous, but that might lead to some awkward situations. With every question you're answered, you have to say all three of us for the money. That's all right.
Speaker 4Host06:48
It will.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:48
Where's the bathroom? All three of us for the money. That's all right. What?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:55
At the outset the devil gave them as much money as they could carry and told them to stop at such and such an inn in the next city, such and such, such and such. I've been there. It's a great place. They have good, much and much beers.
Speaker 5Host07:11
Yeah.
Speaker 3Host07:12
It's like that place we just came from. You know my grandpa.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:16
The cemetery.
Speaker 3Host07:17
No, you know, my grandpa answers with where did we just? Come from grandpa. Yeah, I know that place. We just came from the such and such and the such and such place.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:28
The such and such. By the way, we actually spend our time at 417 Tap House here in Springfield Missouri.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:35
Cha-ching.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:35
That's an unashamed plug.
Speaker 3Host07:38
Cha-ching.
Speaker 5Host07:38
You're welcome, Zach and Harry.
Speaker 3Host07:40
Burgers Yummy burgers and fries are the best. I like their pasta.
Speaker 4Host07:45
If they don't overcook them.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:46
And beer.
Speaker 3Host07:47
Yeah, they can't overcook them.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:50
When they got there, the innkeeper went over to them and asked what do you want to eat? The first one answered All three of us.
Speaker 3Host07:58
That's confusing.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:00
Yes said the innkeeper. That's confusing. Yes said the innkeeper. That's what I assume.
Speaker 5Host08:04
For the money said the second.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:07
Obviously, said the innkeeper. And that's all right, said the third. Of course it's all right, said the innkeeper. They received something good to eat and drink and the service was good. After the meal they had to pay. The innkeeper brought the bill to one of them.
Speaker 5Host08:28
All three of us said the first for the money said the second.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:33
And that's all right.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:35
Said the third, of course it's all right, said the innkeeper All three of you must pay. I can't serve anyone without money. What Then? They paid him but gave him much more money. There's that such and such much, much.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:53
Much more.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:53
Money than he had charged.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:56
That was nice of them. Well, because he brought him, gave him a good tip.
Speaker 3Host08:58
A bill, but all three of them were paying separately, so True, he got paid three times.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:07
Interesting twist the other guests at the inn observed this and said those fellas must be crazy, crazy.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:16
They're crazy. That's exactly what they are said. The innkeeper. They're not particularly smart in the head, if you know what I mean. Nice.
Speaker 3Host09:27
That's not nice.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:29
We forgot to mention that Mrs Batman is a.
Speaker 5Host09:35
Head shrinker.
Speaker 3Host09:38
Is a what.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:39
Head shrinker.
Speaker 3Host09:41
I'm not a head shrinker, I'm a mind expander here we go.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:43
Now we will get her started. The journeyman stayed at the inn for some time and they said nothing, but All three of us For the money, and that's all right. However, they watched and knew everything that happened there.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:00
Now you've got to pause there for a minute. I thought the deal was he had to answer every question. Yeah, yeah, answer every question, not just say that all the time. Dustin.
Speaker 3Host10:10
All right, move along. The only thing I'm allowed to say is all three of us.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:16
Well, you'll have your line down by the end.
Speaker 4Host10:18
That's all right. That's all right we should start doing that.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:24
Oh, it's up on me again.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:26
You know what would be fun. We should all go to the bar one night and just say nothing about that oh yeah.
Speaker 3Host10:33
All three of us for the money.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:35
When there's four of us. That'd be weird. It'd be like what For the money?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:40
That's all right, that's all right, that's all right. Well, I'll have to come up with something to say. I like banana peels.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:47
Yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:48
I think we'd get kicked out pretty quick.
Speaker 3Host10:50
No, as we know, the owners Joetta would be like what is going on guys?
Speaker 4Host10:55
They'd be like oh, that's just them, that's just the previous oh crap Batman.
Speaker 3Host11:02
I mean Mrs and Mr Batman.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:03
Don't be stalking One. Oh wait, that's my line, yep. Oh, I already said that, go ahead.
Speaker 5Host11:12
He's black.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:13
There we go, that's right, I'm sorry.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:19
One day a great merchant happened to enter the inn. He was carrying a lot of money, a lot of money with him and said innkeeper, I want you to keep my money for me. Those three crazy journeymen are here and they might steal it from me.
Speaker 5Host11:33
All three of us, that was a leap.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:34
So they had a reputation. I think I wonder how long they'd been there at this point. The innkeeper took the money bag and as he carried it up to the room he felt it was heavy with gold Sweet. So he gave the three journeymen a room downstairs, while the merchant was to have a special room upstairs Privilege. At midnight, when the innkeeper thought they were all sleeping, he and his wife took an axe and went and beat the merchant to death oh, whoa, what I'm glad I'm a journeyman I'm all four married couples doing things together they're not butchering each other with an axe.
12:14
Oh my gosh well are you guys free this next weekend jeez not to go to my fence.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:20
Done not to go to such and such inn and murder people.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:25
After the murder they went back to bed.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:27
Well, why wouldn't?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:28
you, I guess it didn't bother them.
Speaker 4Host12:29
You get a nice night's sleep.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:31
You got your calories out.
Speaker 3Host12:33
They just totally compartmentalized that.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:36
The next morning there was a great commotion. The merchant lay dead in bed swimming in blood. Oh, this is gruesome. All the guests gathered together quickly and the innkeeper said the three crazy journeymen did this.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:53
The guests confirmed this and said it couldn't have been anyone else. No, like the innkeeper and his crazy wife.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:01
The innkeeper summoned the journeymen and said to them Did you kill the merchant?
Speaker 5Host13:07
All three of us.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:08
Wow, said the first one.
Speaker 5Host13:09
For the money.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:11
Nice Said the second and that's all right, said the third Cheers. You've all heard it now, said the innkeeper. They themselves have confessed that didn't work out very well, that devil got us. The journeymen were taken to the prison and were to be put on trial. When they saw that things were getting serious, they became afraid.
Speaker 6Host13:36
But the devil came that night and said Just hold out one more day and don't throw away your good luck. Not a hair on your heads will be touched.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:48
The next morning they were brought before the court and the judge asked Are you the murderers?
Speaker 5Host13:56
All three of us.
Speaker 4Host13:57
Why did you kill him? For the money you villain said the judge Didn't you dread committing such a sin? That's all right. They've confessed and are still unrepentant as well, said the judge. Execute them right away. Whoa.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:18
Oh my gosh, that's terrible. I want to read the end now.
Speaker 3Host14:24
Don't trust the devil.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:28
Well, I don't think that we need to be told not to trust the devil, but apparently these morons did.
Speaker 3Host14:33
Kidding.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:34
So they were conducted outside and the innkeeper was obliged to join the group of witnesses. The executioner's assistants took hold of the journeymen and led them up onto the scaffold where the executioner was waiting for them with a bare sword. That would be a naked sword, not a giant hairy mammal sword. Just thought I'd clarify.
Speaker 5Host14:54
Wow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:55
Just then, just then, a coach drawn by four blood red foxes appeared. What, what A coach drawn by? I read that right, right.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:07
Yes, you did.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:08
Blood red foxes yes, Is that a tiny coach or these huge foxes?
Speaker 3Host15:12
These are huge blood red foxes.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:15
From hell.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:17
Oh, here we go. Whoa you spoil. And it was moving so rapidly that sparks flew away from the pavement. Someone was waving a white cloth from the window and the executioner said Pardon is coming, pardon, pardon Was also the cry from the coach.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:34
Then the devil, dressed in splendid fashion as a distinguished gentleman, stepped out of the coach and said you three are innocent.
Speaker 6Host15:44
You may now tell us what you saw and heard.
Speaker 3Host15:48
Then the oldest said we didn't kill the merchant. The murderer is standing among us.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:54
And he pointed to the innkeeper. Thither the youngest said If you want proof, go into his cellar where you'll find other bodies hanging.
Speaker 5Host16:04
Whoa serial killer, oh he's killed those people as well.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:09
What is this Bates Motel business going on here? What's going on? So the judge sent the executioner's assistant to the cellar and they found everything, exactly as the journeyman had said. When they reported this to the judge, he ordered the executioner to cut off the innkeeper's head on the scaffold.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host16:25
What about the innkeeper's wife?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:28
They always get away with it.
Speaker 4Host16:30
What, what, what.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:41
Then the devil said to the three journeymen Now I have the soul that I wanted.
Speaker 6Host16:47
You're all free and shall have money for the rest of your lives.
Speaker 5Host16:52
All three of us.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:54
You've gone off script. I was going to say what For the money?
Speaker 5Host16:57
For the money.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:58
That's all right, so that worked out pretty good for the. Usually, when you make a deal with the devil, it doesn't end up well.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host17:04
It worked out pretty good for these guys. Well, my moral question to ask of this is would it be right to assist the devil in obtaining souls?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:14
uh, of the serial killer.
Speaker 3Host17:16
Sure you got a basement full of bodies, dude never watched dexter, the greater good, but they didn't know that, as they were going into it I would never make a deal with the devil I don't know for any reason it ended up a lot worse, I mean they did get usually ends up a lot worse.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host17:34
I mean, they did get.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:34
Oh, it usually ends up a lot worse. They did get paid. Yeah, I mean yeah, their story.
Speaker 3Host17:37
it ends well. They get paid for the rest of their lives. But they didn't know that going into it yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:44
Yeah, I'm not making deals with the devil.
Speaker 5Host17:46
I've read enough of these. No, that.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:48
That's the first one that's ended up fairly well, unless Grandma gets involved.
Speaker 3Host17:53
Grandma's.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:55
The devil's grandma.
Speaker 3Host17:56
The devil's grandma.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host17:57
So if you liked today's episode, please go to our website at wwwtalesofbedlamcom and leave us a comment on this episode, which is the Three Journeymen, if you like these lovely ladies.
Speaker 3Host18:13
Lovely ladies Helping us out.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:16
They're lovely, maybe comment about it. You can also tweet us at Tales of Bedlam Tweet.
Speaker 3Host18:23
Batman loves tweets Tweet me.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:25
Yes, he does Tweet for us. Tweet me man.
Speaker 3Host18:30
Instagram. Are you guys on Instagram yet? Yeah, we got.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:32
Instagram. Come visit us at Vision Con here in Springfield, Missouri.
Speaker 5Host18:36
We'll be there.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:38
Good night, bye.
Speaker 5Host18:40
Bye, bye.