Yuki Onna the Cold Lady Transcript

DustinHost00:08

I get to start today. Welcome to Tales of Bedlam, a fairy tale audio comedy. Every Thursday which is today if you're listening to it for the first time we will present to you another hand-picked fairy tale from a different time, place and dimension. How am I doing?

MicahHost00:32

Doing great.

DustinHost00:34

At Tales of Bedlam. We are grateful for you, the listener. You're so cute, I suppose. Let us know how we are doing. Leave a comment on the Facebook or the Twitter, or you can go to our website at tales of bedlamcom. If that is not enough, then you could purchase some swag, support our podcasting habit while becoming a walking billboard. Nice, you can get a Dr No-Wall shirt with a big rooster on it.

MicahHost01:08

That was perfect, Dustin, except you forgot one thing.

DustinHost01:11

I don't want to say my name.

MicahHost01:13

So you didn't forget anything, I'm your host, micah.

DustinHost01:19

I think we've already established who I am.

MicahHost01:21

Good Today's tale is called the Cold Lady. Burr established who I am. Good Today's tale is called the Cold Lady. It is found from the book Green Willow and Other Japanese Fairy Tales. Ugh, I'm cold already. Mmm, it's gonna be nice and chilly. Once, an old man and a young man left their village in company in order to make a journey into a distant province. Now, whether they went for pleasure or for profit, for matters of money or love or war, or because of some small or great vow they had laid upon their souls, it is no longer known. That was kind of drawn out, it was. All these things were very long since forgotten. It is enough to say that it is likely they accomplished their desires, for they turned their faces homewards about the setting in of the winter season, which is an evil time for wayfarers. Heaven knows.

DustinHost02:24

Heaven knows you don't want to travel in the winter no the roads get icy, people drive like maniacs, people freeze. Now as they journeyed, it happened that they missed their way and, being in a lonely part of the country, they wandered all day long and came upon no good soul to guide them. Near nightfall, they found themselves upon the brink of a broad and swift-flowing river. There was no bridge, no ford and no ferry, and that would be.

MicahHost03:00

F-E-R-R-Y.

DustinHost03:02

Because if there was Tinkerbell the ferry, she'd just sprinkle dust, She'd float over.

MicahHost03:06

Nice.

DustinHost03:07

Yeah.

MicahHost03:09

We should keep fairies with us at all times.

DustinHost03:12

You can fly.

MicahHost03:13

Then we could ford the river.

DustinHost03:16

The swift flowing river Down came the night, with pitch black clouds and a little shrewd wind that blew the dry and scanty reeds. This is a very poetic story. Presently, the snow came, the flakes fell upon the dark water of the river.

MicahHost03:36

How white, how white they are, cried the young man, but the old man shivered, but the old man shivered.

03:46

In truth, it was bitter cold and they were in a bad case. They were in trouble, deep Tired out. The old man sat down upon the ground. He drew his cloak around him and clasped his hands about his knees. The young man blew upon his fingers to warm them. He went up the bank a little and at last found a small poor hut deserted by a charcoal burner or ferry man. A ferry, Ferry man. You can't. You gotta say it out loud. I think that they need to start a fire.

DustinHost04:23

Well, hopefully it's a coal burner's hut, because maybe there'll be some coal left over.

MicahHost04:27

Yeah, even coal dust is easy to start a fire with.

DustinHost04:31

Yeah, boom, that it is at the best, said the young man. Yet the gods be praised for any shelter on such a night. So he carried his companion to the hut. Carried him he picked him up and carried him. He's freezing. They had no food and no fire, but there was a bundle of dried leaves in the corner. Sweet here. They lay down and covered themselves with their straw raincoats and, in spite of the cold, they soon fell asleep.

MicahHost05:03

They did not dress for the weather Straw raincoats and, in spite of the cold, they soon fell asleep. They did not dress for the weather straw raincoats. Thank you for carrying me into the hut, though, dustin appreciate it, old man.

DustinHost05:16

Why? What's the? Why do? What's the dried leaves in the corner? Why would they say that?

MicahHost05:22

and then they just fall asleep well, you know, it would have provided some insulation from the ground to help keep them warm. They should have covered themselves with leaves. Actually, maybe they should have lit them on fire, but that wouldn't have burned very long. They would have needed to collect some firewood.

DustinHost05:43

All right, Captain, Outside Jack, Captain Obvious, Captain Obvious. About midnight the young man was awakened by an icy air upon his cheek. The door of the hut stood wide open and he could see the whirling snowstorm without. It was not very dark. A pest upon this wind, said the young man. It has blown open the door and the snow has drifted in and covered my feet, and he raced himself upon his elbow. Then he saw there was a woman in the hut. Oh, it's gonna get hot now. She.

MicahHost06:21

Depends how good looking she is. She knelt by the side of the old man, his companion, and bent low over him till their faces almost met. White was her face and beautiful White were her trailing garments. Her hair was white with the snow that had fallen upon it. Her hair was white with the snow that had fallen upon it. Her hands were stretched forth over the man that slept and bright icicles hung from her fingertips. Her breath was quite plainly to be seen as it came from her parted lips. It was like a fair white smoke. I wonder if they could throw light in this paragraph anymore.

07:05

Presently. She made an ending of leaning over the man and rose up very tall and slender. Snow fell from her in a shower as she moved.

DustinHost07:17

I just want to clarify something here. Was she white?

MicahHost07:22

She was white Jeez. Was she white? She was white Jeez. Yuki Onna, the snow woman, is a spirit in Japanese folklore.

DustinHost07:38

Yuki Onna appears on snowy nights as a tall, beautiful woman with long black hair and blue lips. Oh, this wasn't a Yuki Onna then, because this one was all white.

MicahHost07:43

Well, it doesn't say that technically. It says her hair was white with the snow. It said white 40 times, but it says her hair was white with the snow, so her black hair was coated with white snow white. Her inhumanly pale or even transparent skin makes her blend into the snowy landscapes.

DustinHost08:08

I don't like her.

MicahHost08:09

She often wears a white kimono, but other legends describe her as nude Whoa, with only her face and hair standing out against the snow. Her, despite her inhuman beauty. Her eyes can strike tear Into mortals or dustins.

08:27

I'm scared, she floats across the snow, leaving no footprints. In fact, some tales say she has no feet, a feature of many Japanese ghosts. Why would ghosts have feet? They don't need them. And she can transform into a cloud Of mist or snow If threatened. Thank you for that exposition. I think it's interesting. And she can transform into a cloud of mist or snow if threatened.

DustinHost08:46

Thank you for that exposition. I think it's interesting. I forgot what they were called already Yukiona, yukiona the snow woman.

MicahHost08:55

That was easy, she murmured and came to the young man and, sinking down beside him, took his hand in hers. If the young man was cold before, he was colder now. He grew numb from head to heel. It seemed to him as if his very blood froze and his heart was a lump of ice that stood still in his bosom. A deathly sleep stole over him.

DustinHost09:24

This is terrifying. This is my death, he thought. Can this be all? Thank the gods, there is no pain, but the cold lady spoke Is it only a boy?

MicahHost09:37

She said A pretty boy. She said stroking his hair. I cannot kill him, Creepy.

DustinHost09:46

Listen. She said oh.

MicahHost09:53

Creepy. This is weird. Uh Good, oh. She said you must never speak of me, nor of this night. She said Not to father nor mother, nor sister nor brother, nor to betrothed maid, nor to wedded wife, nor to boy child, nor to girl child, nor to sun, nor to moon, nor to water, fire, moon. Nor to water, fire, wind, rain, snow. Nor to cheeseburgers nor to hot dogs, nor to puppy dogs, nor to John Wick. Now, swear it, I will not. That's not what he said. He said he swore it.

10:52

Fire, wind, rain, snow. I will not say it.

DustinHost10:57

He murmured and fell into a deep swoon. When he came to himself, it was high noon, the warm sun shone. A kind countryman held him in his arms and made him drink from a steaming cup.

MicahHost11:10

Now, boy, said the countryman, you should do. By the mercy of the gods, I came in time, though what brought me to this hut A good three rye out of my way, the August gods alone know. So you must thank them and your wondrous youth.

DustinHost11:29

Wondrous youth.

MicahHost11:30

As for the good old man, your companion, it is a different matter. He has passed help. He did Already. His feet have come to the parting of the three ways he croaked.

DustinHost11:43

That's not really a word, is it? Alack cried the three ways he croaked, that's not really a word is it Alack? Cried the young man. Alack for the snow and the storm and the bitter, bitter night. My friend is dead, but he said no more then. Nor did he when the day's journey brought him home to his own village, for he remembered his oath and the cold lady's words were in his ear.

MicahHost12:07

You must never speak of me Are you kidding me? Nor of this night, not to father nor mother, nor sister nor brother, nor to betrothed maid, nor to wedded wife, nor to boy child, nor to george washington, nor to abe lincoln, nor to your best friends, uncles, friends, sisters, cousin to the third wife.

DustinHost12:44

Er-mer-gerd.

MicahHost12:48

I'm going to say the important part, nor to boy child, nor to girl child, nor to sun, nor moon, nor water, fire, wind, rain or snow.

DustinHost13:02

How many more times do I have to hear that? How many more times do I have to hear that? Some years after this, in the leafy summertime, it chanced that the young man took his walks abroad alone and as he was returning homewards about sundown he was aware of a girl walking in the path a little way before him. It seemed as though she had come some distance distance, for her robe was kilted up. I hate when my robe gets kilted up. She wore sandals tied to her feet and she carried a bundle. Was it the old leaves? That apparently had nothing to do with the story, but were in there anywhere, moreover. She dropped and went wearily. She didn't drop and went wearily. She drooped and went wearily. She didn't drop and went wearily. She drooped and went wearily. It was not strange that they that made more sense.

13:47

Well, of course, because you don't drop and go wearily, you droop. It was not strange that the young man should presently come up with her, nor that he should pass the time of day. What, Of course that's not strange. He sought once the girl was very young. It's not strange. He sought once the girl was very young, fair and slender, Young maiden, he said whither are you bound?

MicahHost14:17

She answered sir, I am bound for Yido, where I intend to take service. I have a sister there who will find me a place. What is your name? My name is Oyuki.

DustinHost14:26

Really she was an anime. That sounds like an anime. Oyuki, is she a Pokemon?

MicahHost14:33

Pokemon is what I was thinking.

DustinHost14:36

Oyuki said the young man, you look very pale.

MicahHost14:40

Alas, sir, she murmured, I faint with the heat of this summer day. And as she stood in the path, her slender body swayed and she slid to his feet in a swoon. So she pre-announced her swoon.

DustinHost14:57

Yeah she's, I'm gonna pass out Honk. Oh, is this being stereotypical to women? I don't like this.

MicahHost15:07

No.

DustinHost15:10

Oh, young and slender and pretty. I think you'll know why All right Later, the young man lifted her gently and carried her in his arms to his mother's house.

MicahHost15:22

Because where else would you take her? So?

DustinHost15:23

romantic To his mother's house, because where else would you take her so romantic To his mother's house? Her head lay upon his breast and as he looked upon her face he shivered slightly. All the same, he said to himself these summer days turn chilly about sundown, or so it seems to me.

MicahHost15:40

When Oyuki was recovered from her swoon, she thanked the young man and his mother sweetly for their kindness and as she had little strength to continue her journey, she passed the night in their house. In truth, she passed many nights there, and the streets of Yido never knew her, for the young man grew to love her and made her his wife. Ere many moons were out All right.

16:07

Come on, were they white? The hot sun could not burn her neck or her pale and delicate cheek. Let me guess why Because it was white In the fullness of time. She bore seven children.

DustinHost16:36

Whoa.

MicahHost16:38

Was that at once or spread out? Were they all white too? All as fair as she yeah apparently, and they grew up tall and strong with straight, noble limbs. I wish I had straight limbs.

DustinHost16:53

I've got noble limbs.

MicahHost17:08

Their equal could not be found upon that countryside. I've got noble limbs. I'm calling BS. There came no line upon her forehead, no dimness to her eyes and no gray hairs.

DustinHost17:20

I'm calling BS.

MicahHost17:21

Yeah, I had gray hairs shortly after my first kid.

DustinHost17:25

Seven kids and no gray hairs. That is BS. I think about kids and I get gray hairs. All the women of the place marveled at these things and talked of them till they were tired. But Oyuki's husband was the happiest man for miles around but with his fair wife and fair children, morning and evening he prayed and said let not the gods visit upon me if I have too much joy.

MicahHost17:55

On a certain evening in winter, oyuki, having her children in bed and warmly covered them, was with her husband in the next room, the charcoal glowed in the hibachi you always have to have a hibachi, it's delicious and a samurai and a Mitsubishi. All the doors of the house were closely shut, for it was bitter cold and outside the first big flakes of snow storm had begun to fall.

DustinHost18:25

This is not going to end well.

MicahHost18:27

Oyuki stitched diligently at little bright colored garments. A lantern stood on the floor beside her and its light fell full upon her face. Her husband looked at her, musing.

DustinHost18:41

Dear, he said. When I look at you tonight, I am reminded of an adventure that came to me many years since.

MicahHost18:50

Oyuki spoke not at all, but stitched diligently.

DustinHost18:55

Don't, uh, don't do it, dude, what? No, come on. It was an adventure, or a dream, said the man, and which it was not, I cannot tell. Strange, it was as a dream, yet I think I did not sleep.

MicahHost19:14

Oyuki went on sewing.

DustinHost19:17

Then, only then, I saw a woman who is as beautiful as you are and as white Indeed. She was very like you Tell me about.

19:26

her said Oyuki, not lifting her eyes from her work, Don't do it why, said the man, I have never spoken of her to anybody Yet. He spoke then to his undoing oh man, he did it. He told of his journey and how he and his companion, being benighted in a snowstorm, took shelter in a hut. He spoke of the white, cold lady and how his friend had died in her chill embrace alack. He died. I remember part. Then she came to my side and leaned over me but she said it is only a boy, a pretty boy, I cannot kill him. Gods, how cold she was, how cold Afterwards. She made me swear Before she left. She made me swear, made me swear Before she left.

MicahHost20:16

She made me swear, you must never speak of me, nor of this night. Oyuki said Not to father nor mother, nor brother nor sister, nor to betrothed maid, nor to wedded wife, nor to boy child, nor to girl child, nor to sun, nor to moon, not to fire, nor to girl child, nor to sun, nor to moon, not to fire, wind, rain, snow. All this you swore to me, my husband even to me, and after all these years you have broken your oath. Uh-oh, unkind, unfaithful and untrue. She folded her work together and laid it aside. Then she went to where the children were and bent her face over each in turn.

DustinHost20:59

No, no, no, no. We're gonna have infanticide in this story. The eldest murmured cold, cold, so she drew the quilt up over his shoulder. The youngest cried mother, and threw out his little arms.

MicahHost21:18

She said I have grown too cold to weep anymore. What? And with that she came back to her husband, farewell. She said, even now I cannot kill you for my little children's sakes. Guard them well, children's sinks.

DustinHost21:36

Guard them. Well, whew, disaster averted. The man lifted up his eyes and saw her. White was her face and beautiful White were her trailing garments. Her hair was white, as it were, with snow that had fallen upon it Said right there, plain as day. Her hair was white. Her breath was quite plainly to be seen as it came from her parted lips. It was like a fair white smoke White, white, white, white, white, white.

MicahHost22:05

Farewell, farewell. She cried, and her voice grew thin and chill like a piercing winter wind. Her form grew vague as a snow wreath or a white vaporous cloud. For an instant it hung upon the air. Then it rose slowly through the smoke hole in the ceiling and was no more seen.

DustinHost22:30

What, what, don't tell anybody, not this list of 400 things. And then when he does tell somebody, nothing happens well, he loses his wife, that's a pretty big thing.

MicahHost22:47

Yeah, you'd want to be rid of that one, why she was an excellent wife when he didn't say anything.

DustinHost22:55

As soon as he said something, it all fell apart. She was a creepy witch woman.

MicahHost23:01

She bore him seven kids and he was very proud of her and all the people in the town were like this is an amazing woman, you're married to. You definitely married up.

DustinHost23:14

No, I think it was a little weird, you'd notice after she didn't get gray hairs with the kids be like something's off well, it's been at least 13, 14 years, because the youngest spoke mother.

MicahHost23:32

So it was probably, you know, maybe one or two. And there were seven kids and you have to at least have a year in between, right? So maybe nine or ten years.

DustinHost23:49

I don't know. I didn't find the point of the story. It was lovely and poetic and weird, but there was no point to it. I like the character. It was lovely and poetic and weird, but there was no point to it.

MicahHost23:56

I like the character. I want to find more stories with Yukiona in it and her being maybe a little more evil.

DustinHost24:05

It's Japanese Baba Yaga.

MicahHost24:07

Yeah, the snow woman, the ice queen, yeah, this ain't no Frozen fairy tale with Anna and Elsa.

DustinHost24:19

Let it go. Let it go.

MicahHost24:23

Oh no, the only thing you'd let go of is your life. She's fairly evil.

DustinHost24:29

I thought she was going to kill the kids.

MicahHost24:30

She might not be evil. She might be just doing her job to take the souls of those that are freezing in the wilderness.

DustinHost24:39

Well then, she's just not doing her job very well, marrying mortals and having kids.

MicahHost24:45

She was lonely, she was a hooker, wow. Well, that did it. Dustin said it. Good night, bye.

DustinHost24:57

I don't know about that stream. I don't get it, man.

MicahHost25:02

To be honest, I really wasn't that impressed with most of the Japanese tales and I read like 20 of them.

DustinHost25:11

They're very poetic.

MicahHost25:12

There were things I liked about them. Like you said, the way they were written. They had some great sentences.

DustinHost25:20

Good imagery.

MicahHost25:20

Yeah, but there wasn't.

DustinHost25:23

There's no substance it was just nonsense. Now we need to get the snow witch woman together with the badger, kill the kids and make them into soup, and then you could have your chilled soup.

MicahHost25:40

Oh, cucumber soup, right Kid soup. Kid kid cumber soup. Chilled kid soup, Kid cumber soup.

DustinHost25:52

It'd be delicious. I'm hungry now, oh.