A Woman in Search of a Mate Podcast Transcript
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:07
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam. I'm your host, micah. I'm your host, micah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:14
Hello, I am Inigo Montoya.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:18
And that's.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:21
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:26
And that's your other host. This is Tales of Bedlam, and we read to you stories from all over the world.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:34
We did Grim Brothers for a long time.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:36
Yes.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:37
And now we've branched out.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:39
And today we're doing a Native American tale called A Woman in Search of a Mate A.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:43
Woman in Search of a Mate, and this is a North. A Native American tale called A Woman in Search of a Mate, a Woman in Search of a Mate, and this is a North American, native American, because there's two Americas, you know. Did I say oh, I did say.
BubbaCaller00:53
I said Native American.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:54
I apologize, northern Native American, but first we have some breaking news. This is so exciting Breaking news. Yes, dun dun dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun dun. We have some breaking news. This is so exciting Breaking news. Yes, this just in. Tales of Bethlehem will have their own booth at VisionCon. Yes, visioncon is a show much like Comic-Con, but very vision-y.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:23
It's the same thing, oh my gosh. It's just in Springfield, missouri, instead of wherever they have the other one, california.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:31
Yes, visioncon is our version here in the Midwest of Comic-Con and we have a booth there. It's huge. May 10th, 11th and 12th you'll be able to come and visit your hosts, us. Truly. I'll be there, micah and Bubba Bubba.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:49
I'll even put pants on.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:51
We'll be doing interviews, we'll be giving out.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:54
I'll be giving out big sloppy kisses.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:57
We'll be giving out stickers. Dustin will be giving out autographs. I love to autograph things. Anyway, it's going to be a lot of fun. So if you're in our area of Springfield Missouri, check us out on our website. We have more information at talesofbedlamcom, even a link to purchase tickets. Yay, Without further ado, let's start our story. A woman in search of a mate. Sweet, A young woman lived alone on the bank of a large river.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:31
One day she thought I am old enough to have a husband. It is lonely here by myself.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:40
She oiled her hair, painted her face red, put on her best clothes and went to a spring. She dipped up a bucket of water and, looking in it, said I am nice enough for any man.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:57
I am approving of the confidence so far. This is good. I don't know about the oiled hair, but I'm liking the confidence. Then she started off along the bank of the river that ran through a forest. Toward midday she came to a place where she saw signs of people living near and seating herself on a log. She began to sing.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:18
I wonder if any man around here wants a wife. I wonder if any man around here wants a wife.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:28
I wonder if any man around here wants a wife. I, that's just amazing. Soon, one far off in the forest answered I want a wife, I want a wife.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:43
Then the woman sang back.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:45
What will we live on? What will we live on when we live together?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:51
And he sang we will live on moss, moss, moss, interesting.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:00
And she, singing, answered.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:02
I couldn't live on moss. I am too good for such coarse food.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:11
I'm a nice-looking girl, you go, girl, yeah, and with confidence Just like. Stick your moss in your ear, dude, too hot for that. You gotta provide something better Again. She traveled along the river, the bank of the river. It was near sunset and when the young woman came to a place where she saw signs of people living near, she seated herself on a log and sang I wonder if any man around here Wants a wife.
04:46
I hate these songs. We have to sing all the time. Someone not far off answered singing I want a wife. I want a wife.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:58
Then she sang what will we live on? What will we live on? What will we live on when we live together?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:07
and he, singing, answered we will live on hawthorn berries and roots.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:15
Oh, she sang.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:20
I cannot live on hot bone berries and roots. I am too good for such food. I'm a nice looking girl.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:34
Get him.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:35
Too.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:37
Oh man, I like the story so far. This is amazing. Other than the singing Thanks. What is this? Other than the singing Thanks, what is this? Some kind of musical land?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:48
Sure is, can we just talk to each other? It's Northern Native American.
BubbaCaller05:53
Weird.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:55
I think that we should take a short break to rest my vocal cords.
BubbaCaller06:00
Yeah, me too.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:00
And let's listen to one of our oh oh, we've had some amazing feedback on our line. Thank you so much for calling in. Yes, and, as promised, you get to be on the podcast you want to queue up a call? Absolutely.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:30
Hello, oh hello, hello, hello, um hello.
BubbaCaller06:42
Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. Uh, this is Bubba, and I had one of them there donkey cabbages and I was a donkey for 24 hours and I didn't like it at all and I need a refund immediately. Call me back.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:02
Well, Bubba.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:03
Oh my gosh Bubbaba. There was a disclaimer on that commercial and you might want to go back and listen to it again that would have been on cat and mouse, cat and mouse.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:16
So go back and listen to that again, and then uh listen to that commercial yeah and uh, listen to to the end of the commercial, where we have the disclaimers, where we don't care.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:29
That's not entirely true at all, but we let you know there might be some adverse effects and we can't be responsible for that. So just order another one.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:40
Next one will be better, I promise if you don't like being an ass, then maybe you should not eat the cabbages. It's very true. Let's take another call hello, oh, hello, hello, hello um hello hello, no one is available to take your Hello, oh hello, hello, hello, um hello, hello.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:07
No one is available to take your call.
BubbaCaller08:09
Please leave a message after the tone.
Caller 1Caller08:14
So we just got done listening to the clever Hans, and here are some commentary from a nine-year-old and a seven-year-old about how not so clever Hans was. What are your thoughts? Lydia, 9 years old.
Caller 2Caller08:29
He's kind of like he didn't really understand his mother because when he was doing the things, his mother was telling him to do, those next time when he gets that stuff, not the next newest thing that he gets.
Caller 1Caller08:46
Right. What are your thoughts? Allison, Kevin, that he's not so clever. That he's not so clever. What makes him not so clever?
Caller 2Caller08:58
The first thing his mother tells him to do is the same he does the next thing.
Caller 1Caller09:03
Yeah right, what was the funniest part of it? What was, like, the most bizarre part of what he did? You thought throwing the eyes at the girl after his mother told him.
Caller 2Caller09:18
I think the funniest part was when he got a cow on top of his head. I don't know how, but he did.
Caller 1Caller09:25
And why on earth would he put bacon on a rope? Of course the dogs were going to eat it. And even if he got it home, what did he see? Any good, because it had been dragging the ground. Silly Hans, not so clever.
Caller 2Caller09:38
Not so clever.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:40
Well, thank you, Lydia and Allison.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:42
Oh, that was amazing and full of truth. How did he get his cow on his head? That is a mystery I think I said the same thing when we were reading that clever hans was our 24th episode if you missed that one, it's a good one.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:57
You need to go back and listen to it and I agree with you, l Cows, do not belong on your head, yeah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:05
And there's no reason to be throwing eyes.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:08
No, no, any kind of eyes and Hans was so not clever. So if you missed that episode, why don't you check out episode 24, Clever Hans?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:18
24, Clever Hans.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:20
You can listen to that on our website at TalesOfBedlamcom. Click on the archive tab in the upper right hand corner and you can listen to all our episodes.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:31
Everyone, they're all there. Thank you so much, girls, for calling in.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:37
And please call again, call back anytime, if you would like to talk to us at any time, call 417-501-4681. Leave us a message and you can be on our show. Okay, bye-bye now.
BubbaCaller10:50
Give it away.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:52
They already knew? No, they didn't. They have no idea.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:57
Where were we, destin? I don't know.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:59
We were singing, yeah, so she didn't want hawthorn berries and roots or moss, so basically she said I'm just too good looking. I don't need you and your hawthorn berries and roots.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:14
Wow, apparently she's from Dixie, but yeah, that's where we were. She's too good for that crap. She needs some good stuff. The young woman traveled on till dusk. Then, seeing signs of someone having been a short time before, she seated herself on a log and sang.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:35
I wonder if any man around here wants a wife. I wonder if any man around here wants a wife.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:48
I'm close by someone saying I want a wife. I want a wife. You suck, you know that.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:01
And she singing. And and she singing asked what will we live on? What?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:09
will we live on when we live together in the apartment over the oak tree? What?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:15
you've gone off script again. Oh my gosh, see, that's sang back. When we live together, we will live on seeds yes singing.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:33
She answered that is the food I like seeds are nice and soft there's no talking in the story.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:42
Did they sing to each other the whole time? Oh my gosh. The singer, hearing her answered, hearing her answer, was pleased. He came and sat on the log by her side and, singing, asked did you understand my song? When you asked what we would live on, that was rhyming. That was nice when we live together she singing answered yes yes, yes, seeds that love seeds.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:22
They are sweet and soft seeds.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:30
No moss, no hawthorn berries or roots, but seeds are fine, seeds are lovely and soft. Then the two flew off along the bank of the river and ever since have lived happily together the first birds of spring, happily together. The first birds of spring. The first man to answer the young woman's call was a deer Boss. Okay, I got it now. The second was a bear. The third was a bird like herself.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:04
And now I must confess, Dustin, I changed the name of this story so it wouldn't give that cool ending away.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:07
What was the name of the story? The?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:09
actual name of the story was not a woman in search of a mate, but it was a bird in search of a mate.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:17
Oh, that's just cheap, nobody likes a trickster A bird. It was the bird. Well, I don't think you had to change the name, but that was a clever twist. I thought it was a coolster A bird. It was the bird. Well, I don't think you had to change the name, but that was a clever twist.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:29
I thought it was a cool story.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:30
The third was a bird like herself. Well, that makes a lot more sense now. I was wondering about the seed thing.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:38
Yeah, it was kind of weird and moss and hawthorn berries and roots.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:42
Well, that made sense. She didn't want those, she was too pretty.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host14:48
Yeah, well, that made sense she didn't want those.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:49
She was too pretty yeah I'm a pretty man offers that you'd think there'd be a man that offers some venison or buffalo listen to the stories that we read you never know what they're gonna offer for the woman but this is like one of the very rare stories that we've read that has had a good ending. No one died Right. They didn't kill anybody along the way.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:12
No suicides, no cannibalism, no witches and orgs.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:20
You like it. See, they're civilized in North America, ouch Civilized people. They weren't savage and beating their kids.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:31
Well, now that we have alienated everyone that does not live in North America, oh no, they're fine.
15:40
So don't forget, we had some awesome news. Come see us at Vision Con here in Springfield, missouri, if you live close, may 10th, 11th and 12th. Check out our website for more information at talesofbedlamcom. Oh and thanks again, lydia and Allison, for that awesome call. And Bubba and Bubba, don't forget to check out our episode 24, clever Hans, if you have not. Thanks and good night. Bye, check out our episode 24, clever Hans, if you have not. Thanks and good night.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:13
Bye. Such a story where you have to sing every line. That was a good story.