Aesop’s Fables Transcript
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:06
Welcome to Tales of Bedlam. I'm your host, Micah.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:09
Oh man, I didn't even think of my name today. I'll be Dustin today because I've got brain mush.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:16
And we're Tales of Bedlam. Today we have two Greek tales for you.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host00:21
We only have one today, one next week.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host00:24
That's correct. Today we have one Greek tale for you, and it is Aesop's Fables. As promised, we will continue to do fairy tales from around the world. We're not giving up on Brothers Grimm but for the next couple weeks we're going to do a couple Greek fairy tales, along with a very special original fairy tales. Along with a very special Original Fairy tales from. Uk and very exciting it is very exciting In two more episodes. How do I say that?
00:56
End of the month End of the month End of March. You heard it from the man Dustin Woohoo.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:03
I'm the man.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:04
Without further ado, yay.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:07
So I got to choose the stories this time, and Micah is going into these blind, like I've been doing previously, so this is going to be fun. I got to do the Greek tales and I didn't know that Aesop and his fables were Greek, so we've actually got a selection. Selection, because they're kind of short, so I picked out several of them.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host01:30
Nice.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host01:32
The fables were attributed to Aesop. He was a Greek slave who lived in the 5th century and they were originally passed on orally but weren't really collected until about 300 years after his death. So in that time they were kind of added to and some of them that Aesop may not have even said were kind of added to the collection. And since then they're still adding them. I didn't know that. So you can write a fable and if it fits in the format, the Aesop category, you can get it added to Aesop's fables.
02:05
Anyway, micah is going to lead us off with the first one, really.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:11
I should have started right. The Ass and the Lap Dog Sounds like it's taking place at a strip bar.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:19
Oh my gosh, I really should have. How about I read the blue ones today?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:24
and you read the black ones.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:25
No, we're not even gonna get through the first one stop.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host02:29
A man had an ass. I've got one too I knew it and the maltese lapdog a very great beauty. The ass was left in the stable and had plenty of oats and hay to eat. That's where all my calories go, just as any other ass would. You should not have given me this one.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host02:58
Just wait, man.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:00
The lap dog knew many tricks and was a great favorite with his master, who often fondled him. And I can't do this. Are you kidding me?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:13
Push through, push through.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:16
Oh my gosh, it's a dog. It's called bestiality, no, who often fondled him and seldom went out to dine Without bringing him home Some tidbit to eat.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host03:28
Oh, a doggy bag. No, oh, a doggy bag From the farm.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host03:51
He often lamented his own hard fate and contrasted it with the luxury and idleness of the lapdog. Still, at last. One day he broke his cords in halter and galloped into his master's house, kicking up his heels without measure and frisking and fawning as well as he could. He tried to jump about his master, as he had seen the lapdog do, but he broke the table and smashed all the dishes upon it. Two atoms, two atoms hey, we've had that before. Atoms this must be the translation, remember, we thought it would be like dust.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:26
Right. But the translation says atoms, particles Comes up as atoms.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:31
He then attempted to lick his master and jumped upon his back. Is there going to be further fondling?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:41
Oh my gosh, this is the best one.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:43
The servants hearing this strange hubbub Hubbub? How do they translate hubbub? It says hubbub Hubbub.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:55
I don't know, should there be like a space in there? Hullabaloo.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host04:58
Okay.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host04:59
The raucous.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:00
The strange hullabaloo, in perceiving the danger of their master, quickly relieved him and drove out the ass to his stable with kicks and clubs and cuffs, the ass as he returned to his stable, beaten nearly to death. Thus lamented, I have brought it on myself. Why could I not have been contented to labor with my companions and not wish to be idle all the day like that useless lapdog?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:34
so a difference between fairy tables and, uh, fables is the fables are going to have a moral right and sometimes it'll be clear and they'll. It'll be at the end of the story oh, but this is.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host05:49
There's a moral tables.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host05:51
Fairy tales are just for fairies, right fairy tables are where fairies drink their tea that's not tea that's why I'm gonna drink my tea. So there was a moral to the story. Be content with your lot, and the grass is not always greener. Right, the ass got beaten and cuffed and sent back to the stall all right, I had the next one. You might, you might start to see a theme here whenever you're ready, sir well, I can't remember what the last thing I said was.
06:28
Well, let's go Next fable the Salt Merchant and His Ass.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host06:33
I wonder what the connecting piece is to these stories.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host06:37
You have to wait until the end to find out. A peddler drove his ass to the seashore to buy salt. A peddler drove his ass to the seashore to buy salt. His road home lay across a stream into which his ass, making a false step, fell by accident and rose up again with his load considerably lighter. As the water melted, the sack Right.
06:59
The water washed away the salt. The peddler retraced his steps and refilled his pannieres with a larger quantity of salt than before. When he came again to the stream, the ass fell down on purpose in the same spot.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:15
Okay, what is a pannier?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:17
That's the wicker baskets. They hung over the back of the donkeys.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:21
Oh, okay, okay, yeah, they hung over the back of the donkeys.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:24
Oh, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, fell down on purpose in the same spot and, regaining his feet with the weight of his load much diminished, brained triumphantly as if he had obtained what he desired. Nice, he's a smart ass Very smart. The peddler saw through his trick and drove him for the third time to the coast, where he bought a cargo of sponges instead of salt.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host07:47
Yes, he got smart too.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host07:49
Yeah, the ass, again playing the fool, fell down on purpose when he reached the stream, but the sponges became swollen with water, greatly increasing his load, and thus his trick recoiled on him, for he now carried on his back a double burden.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:07
Wow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:08
And the moral of that story is don't try to shirk your work, man, Do your fair share. And you'll get a double load if you don't, you'll get a double load.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:16
So true, so true. Now that I see the name of this next one, you're welcome. I think you're setting me up the third fable for tonight the ass, the cock and the lion. An ass and a cock, we're in a star yard together.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host08:45
Stop laughing you're making me laugh, I'm so sorry.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host08:50
They were in a straw yard together when a lion that's an odd Lots of lions. Desperate from hunger, approached the spot he's starving. He was about to spring upon the ass when the cock, to the sound of whose voice the lion, it is said, has a singular aversion, crowed loudly and the lion fled away as fast as he could, Scared him away. It's like the uh, what's the Wizard of Oz lion the Cowardly.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:25
Lion, the Cowardly Lion, the Cowardly Lion.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:26
Yes, scared of the chicken. You know what? I want to go to Africa and try this out. I'm starting to think the lions are pretty chicken.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:35
Alright, man, you go ahead and do that and I'll Send me a postcard Tell me how it works out.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:40
No, you gotta come with me so you can film the whole. Thing.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host09:43
From a long ways away sure.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host09:45
We'll go viral. The ass, observing his trepidation at the mere crowing of a cock, summoned courage to attack him and galloped after him for that purpose. He had run no long distance when the lion turned around, seized him and tore him to pieces. Yowch, False confidence often leads into danger.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:16
There you go. That was one where the moral was spelled out for us.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:19
Makes me rethink my trip to Africa.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:22
Yeah, false confidence, I'm uh.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:26
You were going to let me get eaten by a lion, Dustin.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:29
You were going to let me film it and you were going to film it.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:31
You were just going to stand back. No, no, no, and let me take this false confidence to an unhealthy level.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host10:39
If we go back in the conversation, which we can because it's recorded I said, have fun with that, Send me a postcard. And you said, no, you have to go film it.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host10:52
Which you should have said as a true friend. That is false confidence, Micah, and you're going to get yourself eaten.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:00
Well, I knew where the story was ending so I didn't have to say that because I knew it was coming up. All right, moving along. The next one, strangely enough, is called the Playful Ass. This is one of my favorite ones. An ass climbed up to the roof of a building and, frisking about there, broke the tiling. The owner went up after him and quickly drove him down, beating him severely with a thick wooden cudgel. They're always beating their ass.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:31
We need to get a cudgel that we can hang in our studio.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:38
Oh no, yes, that just sounds like someone's going to get hurt.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:43
We don't have to use it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:46
The ass said why. I saw the monkey do this very thing yesterday and you all laughed heartily, as if it afforded you very great amusement.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:55
Hmm, what's the?
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host11:55
moral of that story, laughed heartily, as if it afforded you very great amusement. What's the moral of that?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host11:59
story. We're learning life lessons here today. Monkey see, monkey do.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:04
But if you're not a monkey, don't do it, don't do it. Nobody likes to see an ass on a roof Nope, but everybody likes to see a monkey on a roof.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:16
I definitely see the theme. These are all stories about donkeys. We love donkeys, so this would be the fifth one, the ass carrying the image.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:28
The image.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:30
Did I say the image? Yeah, okay, the image. The image An ass once carried through the streets of a city, a famous wooden image.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host12:40
Like an idol. Oh, that would be a wooden image right, An idol.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host12:44
To be placed in one of its temples. Definitely an idol, okay. As he passed along, the crowd made lowly prostration before the image. Strange enough, the ass, thinking that they bowed their heads in token of respect for himself, bristled up with pride, gave himself airs and refused to move another step. Ruh-roh, the driver, seeing him thus stop, laid his whip lushly about his shoulders and said oh you perverse dull head, it is not yet come to this, that men pay worship to an ass. Well, in the 20th century it might speak differently. The 20th century might speak differently.
13:37
They are not wise who give to themselves the credit due to others.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:45
Right.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:45
So don't take credit for yourself.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:48
If it's not yours to take. If you're an ass, they're not worshipping you.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:55
That's right.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host13:56
Are we going to make it through?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host13:58
I'm doing fine now.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host14:00
Next one the ass and his shadow. A traveler hired an ass to convey him to a distant place. I remember this one is really weird the day being intensely hot and the sun shining in its strength. The traveler stopped to rest and sought shelter from the heat under the shadow of the ass that's a big ass it's a little shade.
14:25
As this afforded only protection for one, and as the traveler and the owner of the ass both claimed it, a violent dispute rose between them as to which of them had the right to the shadow. What so they're fighting each other over the shadow, the shade of the donkey? The owner maintained that he had let the ass only and not his shadow. The traveler asserted that he had, with the hire of the ass, hired his shadow also Both valid points. The quarrel proceeded from words to blows and while the men fought, the ass galloped off. And the moral of this story? In quarreling about the shadow, we often lose the substance.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:13
You know, I think that both the owner and the traveler could have used the Brickle Britt Law Services.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:19
They could have. If they would have had their contract drawn up by our law services, that wouldn't have been the problem.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:25
No argument then. No they would have been all taken care of. That's right. So in our pursuit of Aesop's Fables, we have now read five fables oh, five or six, I don't know, On life lessons for an ass.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host15:40
Life lessons For everybody, oh for everybody, for everybody.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host15:45
The next one the lion, the fox and you guessed it, the ass. Woo-hoo, the lion, the fox and the ass entered into an agreement to assist each other in the chase. Mm-hmm, having secured a large booty, I'm so sorry. The lion, on their return from the forest, asked the ass to allot his due portion to each of the three partners in the treaty.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:18
Mm-hmm, they should have had legal advice.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host16:22
Are they going to explain where this came from? I don't understand. They just got a large treasure, I'm assuming.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:29
No, it's food.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host16:32
Oh, Okay. Well then the donkey's not going to be able to eat it.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host16:38
Uh well, it doesn't specify what kind of food.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host16:41
Okay. The lion, returned from the forest, asked the ass to allot his due portion to each of the three partners in the treaty. The ass carefully divided the spoil into three equal shares and modestly requested the two others to make the first choice he was very nice the lion bursting out into a great rage, devoured the ass he's ate him, he ate him then he requested the fox to do him the favor to make a division. Yeah, right.
17:21
Oh yeah, If I were the fox, I'd be like no, thank you, I think I'll be leaving now. The fox accumulated all that they had killed into one large heap and left to himself the smallest possible morsel. The lion said who has taught you, my very excellent fellow, the art of division? You are perfect to a fraction.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:45
Nicely done, Fox.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host17:47
He replied. I learned it from the ass by witnessing his fate.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host17:54
Well done, Fox.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host17:56
Or from government schools. Happy is the man who learns from the misfortunes of others. You can learn a lot from other people's mistakes.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host18:07
Learn from the mistakes.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:08
Yeah, Of course I don't think the asteroid made a mistake here other than making a partnership with a lion.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host18:15
Yeah, not calling Bricklebread lawyers first.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:19
That's right.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host18:20
The offices of Rumpelstiltskin would have taken care of that right off the bat. Oh, moving along, we're getting there. The ass and the wolf. An ass feeding in a meadow saw a wolf approaching to seize him. These poor donkeys are just getting eaten left and right.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:38
I know we're going to have PETA on our ass, man.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host18:43
Wow, you saw a wolf approaching. That was well done. We didn't harm any animals, by the way, we're just reading the stories. Saw a wolf approaching to seize him and immediately pretended to be lame. We didn't harm any animals, by the way.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host18:56
We're just reading the stories Saw a wolf approaching, to seize him and immediately pretended to be lame. That's smart, oh ow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host19:01
The wolf, coming up, inquired the cause of his lameness. The ass replied that passing through a hedge he had trod with his foot upon a sharp thorn. He requested that the wolf pull it out lest when he ate it should injure his throat. Yeah, smart donkey. The wolf consented and lifted up the foot and was giving his whole mind to the discovery of the thorn when the ass with his heels kicked his teeth in his mouth and galloped away. He got him good.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host19:33
Oh, I just had a picture of American History X when they grind that guy's teeth into the curb.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host19:42
Oh, now I'm disturbed. The wolf being thus fearfully mauled, said I am rightly served. For why did I attempt the art of healing when my father only taught me the trade of a butcher?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host20:00
You know, I really like these because they have that little moral, moral at the end. That's kind of neat. It's good, that little explanation that we're always trying to find in the other fairy tales that we're usually can't find. This is nice.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host20:15
These are pretty nicely laid out. Not a lot of question about what the story is.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host20:20
Well, it tells you right at the end.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host20:21
Yeah.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host20:22
It's great A man once kept a goat in an ass.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host20:27
Good for him.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host20:27
The goat, envying the ass on account of his greater abundance of food, said how shameful you are treated, at one time grinding in the mill and at another carrying heavy burdens. And he further advised him to pretend to be epileptic and fall down into a ditch and so obtain rest.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host21:00
Wow, what a good plan. Can I do that right now? It?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host21:02
didn't work for the other ass who fell down into the ditch. Remember, in the water, true that the ass listened to his words and falling into a ditch, was very much bruised. That's leech is a doctor.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host21:22
Oh.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host21:23
I was thinking a doctoral method. I thought they were going to leech him. He bade him pour upon the wounds. The lungs of a goat Made him pour upon the wounds the lungs of a goat.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host21:43
They at once killed the goat and so healed the ass. How'd that end up for you?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host21:49
goatee Wow.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host22:01
I guess the moral of this one is that payback's a yeah. And again there he's envying it's don't envy, be happy with what you have, man you envy. And then you talk your friend into doing something because you're envious of him, and then they kill you to heal him that's tough it's rough life lesson.
22:13
Oh, here we go, the horse and the ass. A horse, proud of his fine trappings, met an ass on the highway. The ass, being heavily laden, moved slowly. Yes, out of the way. Hardly, said the horse, can I resist kicking you with my heels? The ass held his peace and made only a silent appeal to the justice of the gods. Not long afterwards, the horse, having become broken-winded, was sent by his owner to the farm. The ass, seeing him drawing a dung cart delicious, thus derided him. Oh, I thought I gave you all the donkey parts. Where, oh boaster, are now all thy gay trappings? Thou art, thou who art thyself reduced to the condition you so lately treated with contempt.
23:14
That was great Dustin destin thank you it seems a lot of these are to do with uh envy right he was yeah and he was a slave, so that was probably kind of on his mind all the time oh, that's a good point being a slave envious of of others freedom and their freedom or his masters, or and then when that happened and it did never end so well for slaves and, being a slave, he probably didn't really have any possessions right, yeah, makes sense okay, the ass and his purchaser.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host23:57
A man wished to purchase an ass that's illegal in many, many states.
24:06
I'm sorry very okay and agreed with his owner that he should try out the animal before he bought him. Trying out the merchandise, he took the ass home and put it in the straw yard with his other asses he had multiple, so he's a pimp Upon which the new animal left all the others and at once joined the one that was most idle and the greatest eater of them all. Oh the fat ass. Seeing this, the man put a halter on him and led him back to his owner. On being asked how, in so short a time, he could have made a trial of him, he answered I do not need a trial. I know that he will be just the same as the one he chose for his companion. A man is known by the company he keeps. This is something I always keep trying to teach my son.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host25:13
If you hang out with lazy asses, you're a lazy ass.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host25:17
Well, I could go for other things than just lazy.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host25:21
Well, I wasn't disagreeing with that. No, I know you weren't disagreeing.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host25:25
I'm just saying that can be applied to many types of people, yeah, anybody you hang out with. Oh neat, this last one we get to do together. Yay, it was a longer one. The miller, his son and their ass. A miller and his son were driving their ass to a neighboring fair to sell him, poor donkey. They had not gone far when they met with a troop of women collected round a well, talking and laughing.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host26:03
Look there, cried one of them. Did you ever see such fellows to be trudging along the road on foot when they might ride?
Micah (Knob Twister)Host26:12
The old man, hearing this, quickly made his son mount the ass, keep going, and continued to walk along merrily.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host26:25
You stopped too long.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host26:29
Sorry and continued to walk along merrily by his side. Presently they came up to a group of old men in earnest debate.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host26:40
There, said one of them. It proves what I was a-saying. What respect is shown to old age in these days? Amen, do you see that idle lad riding while his old father has to walk? Get down, you young scapegrace, preach it and let the old man rest his weary limbs.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:03
Hmm. Upon this, the old man made his son dismount and got up himself. In this manner, they had not proceeded far when they met a company of women and children.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host27:17
Why you lazy old fellow cried several tongues at once. How can you ride upon that beast? Well, that poor little lad there can hardly keep pace by the side of you.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:28
The good-natured miller immediately took up his son behind him. They had now almost reached the town.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host27:36
Pray honest friend said a citizen Is that ass your own. Yes, cried the old man oh one would not have thought so, said the other, by the way, you load him why you two fellows are better able to carry the poor beast than he you.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host27:56
Anything to please you, said the old man. We can but try so alighting with his son, they tied the legs of the ass together and, with the help of a pole, endeavored to carry him on their shoulders over a bridge near the entrance to the town. Wow, another donkey in the river. Another donkey in a river. Upon this, the old man, vexed and ashamed, made the best of his way home again, convinced that by endeavoring to please everybody he had pleased nobody, and lost his ass in the bargain.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host28:52
Isn't that the best closing line ever? And lost his ass in the bargain. Isn't that the best closing line ever? And lost his ass in the bargain.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host28:58
Very well done. Very good stories, Dustin. I very much enjoyed those. This last one I remember very well. I've heard this in other forms.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host29:07
In other fables. Yeah, you can't please everybody.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host29:11
So he was probably the originator of that and other people have taken it and with their little spins it's, you can please some of the people some of the time, which you can't, or whatever that can't please everybody all the time, some of the people all the time, or all the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time. It is better to please those closest to you Right and not worry about the rest.
Dustin (Sofa Sitter)Host29:38
I never have a problem with that. I just tell people to shut up.
Micah (Knob Twister)Host29:42
I hope you enjoyed these fables today. Don't forget to check out our website at talesofbedlamcom. We put a lot of work into it. We love it. Hope you will too. Bye, Bye.