Bremen Town Musicians

Micah (Knob Twister): 0:01

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Welcome to tales of bedlam. I'm your host.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 0:09

Knob twister I didn't know we were starting already, just kind of sprung that all over me uh, you I am he who shall not be named ever again. I'm getting harassed and we're back. We're back. We were gone.

Micah (Knob Twister): 0:26

We were gone for a little while over the holidays, without an explanation. Still not gonna give one.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 0:34

Nor do we need to give one, because it's our podcast, not yours.

Micah (Knob Twister): 0:40

We are starting a new thing here that you might enjoy, and I think that we're gonna get a little more in-depth in our.

Micah (Knob Twister): 0:46

We are starting a new thing here that you might enjoy and I think that we're going to get a little more in-depth in our stories and add a little more creativity. Use our noodles to entertain you, the listener. Today's story is the Bremen Town Musicians. It's famous, oh yes, grimm's Fairy Tale, first published in 1819. That's a long time ago. That was around four years ago. What, oh no, around four years after the end of the Napoleonic Wars, time machine much. We just got out of the hot tub.

Micah (Knob Twister): 1:24

Due to these wars, many of the Germanic people facing an economic collapse and displaced soldiers coming home are moving to populated areas like the city of Bremen, germany, germany, trying to find a new livelihood as they do. This isn't an exact fact, but we feel that this might have something to do with this story. We do, or you do, maybe I do. The fear of displacement and loss because of age and disability was common for these people at the time. That's true. That's not disputed. I think it is reflected in this story, which may or may not have been written or added to around this time.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 2:13

It may have been added to.

Micah (Knob Twister): 2:15

We can't prove it either way, nobody knows, but I do believe that the displacement and loss because of age and disability rings true in this story.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 2:29

I won't disagree with that, but I think it was just plain old silliness, like most of them.

Andrea: 2:38

This just in Plague of old donkeys in the Bremen area, authorities are asking citizens not to approach aging livestock. We will be live with details as they become available.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 2:51

What the Come on man who Turn your phone off.

Micah (Knob Twister): 2:57

It is off. I know I shut my ringer off, I'm checking mine, mine says silenced. That was weird. Where did that come from?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 3:07

was that foreshadowing?

Micah (Knob Twister): 3:11

do you think that's gonna happen through the whole story? I?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 3:14

hope not, because it's very distracting and we haven't even started the story yet let's not delay any longer sofa sitter. Take it away uh, all right, here we go. A certain man had a donkey. Who doesn't have a donkey?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 3:28

I don't, I don't sadly it's very sad which had carried the corn sacks to the mill. Indefatigably I love that word remember we've had that word before for many a long year. I'm gonna say it again indefatigably for many a long year, for many a long year. I'm going to say it again Indefatigably For many a long year, for many a long year. I just want to say indefatigably, over and over. But his strength was going and he was growing more and more unfit for work.

Micah (Knob Twister): 4:04

Then his master began to consider how he might best save his keep. But the donkey ran away and set out on the road to Bremen. I'm going to sell him to the glue factory there.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 4:14

he thought I can surely be a town musician. Thanks for noticing me.

Micah (Knob Twister): 4:22

His idea is that he's getting too old to do his work, so he wants to get a new profession. It's easy, he's going to the city, the big city.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 4:33

It's a huge workload difference between being a musician and carrying corn sacks to the mill, indefatigably, that's true.

Micah (Knob Twister): 4:41

It'd be a lot easier.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 4:42

Yeah, he just wants an easier profession Because he's old Plus be a lot easier.

Micah (Knob Twister): 4:44

Yeah, he just wants an easier profession Because he's old, Plus all the alcohol and girls.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 4:49

That took a weird turn. Okie dokie, the Donkey Red Light District. Ah, when we visit Bremen we'll have to ask about it. When he had walked some distance, he found a hound lying on the road, gasping like one who would run until he was tired. I know what that is. I can do that when I walk up the stairs. What are you gasping so for you?

Micah (Knob Twister): 5:17

big fellow asked the donkey ah, replied the hound, as I'm old and daily grow weak, weaker and no longer can hunt. My master wanted to kill me, so I squirrel, so I took to flight. But now how am I to earn my bread?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 5:44

Who's feeding their dog bread?

Micah (Knob Twister): 5:46

So dog food is mostly wheat, right.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 5:49

I don't know.

Micah (Knob Twister): 5:50

Yeah, I think so.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 5:51

I don't eat dog food.

Micah (Knob Twister): 5:53

Well, that's mostly what they had back then.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 5:55

My weenie dog's food says chicken and rice. You buy the good stuff. I don't know. I get it on Amazon. No, no, I don't get it on amazon. No, no, I don't get amazon chewy. Go to chewycom for all your pets needs and chewy. Please send us a check now. Thank you, I'll tell you what said the donkey. I'm going to bremen and shall be town musician there. Go with me and engage yourself also as a musician. I will play the lute. Whoa what.

Micah (Knob Twister): 6:30

What? I don't remember that Wait, wait, wait. Donkeys playing the lute.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 6:35

Don't you have to have fingers play a lute.

Micah (Knob Twister): 6:37

It's like a guitar, right, it's got strings.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 6:39

I don't think hooves will work.

Micah (Knob Twister): 6:41

How would he do that?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 6:42

Can't do that. It's impossible. This is a poor thought out plan. I will play the lute poorly and you shall beat the kettle drum. I can see that the hound agreed and on they went.

Micah (Knob Twister): 6:57

I think the hound would probably have a better chance of playing the lute and the donkey could play the kettle drum yeah, because they kind of got fingerish things? Well, not really, but lisa could not one big actually you know what? Neither of them can do it.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 7:10

No, this is impossible it should have been a flute this is an update.

Andrea: 7:19

authorities are now reporting the aging donkeys may be recruiting other animals to form possible gangs. Caution is advised and, again, please do not approach these roaming beasts the crap again where is that coming from, is it?

Micah (Knob Twister): 7:38

I'm gonna push some buttons? Stop twisting knobs none of these knobs work. What is going on?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 7:45

that's gonna get old really fast.

Micah (Knob Twister): 7:49

It's like it's just out of the ether. Wait. Do you think our listeners are hearing that, or?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 7:54

is it just in our?

Micah (Knob Twister): 7:54

heads, but what are we having?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 7:58

are we having a shared hallucination?

Micah (Knob Twister): 7:59

yeah, because that'd be weird it's that walking dead whiskey you brought what did you put in my drink? Well, you know, as they say, the show must go on. It's lost. Where I was, there we go. You're right after the question marks where we're supposed to question that strange voice.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 8:26

Before long they came to a cat. This is reminding me of the little old lady who swallowed a spider. Let's go in the reverse order. Never mind Sitting on the path with a face like three rainy days.

Micah (Knob Twister): 8:42

That's a sad face. That depends. I mean, I don't mind rainy days, well, you could have a one rainy day sad face. But three man, you're having a bad day.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 8:56

Unless you're a flower.

Andrea: 8:58

What I don't get that love.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 8:59

The rain makes them grow. Okay, now then, old shaver. What has gone askew with you, ask the donkey. Well, old shape, what's an old shaver? No, what's a face like three?

Micah (Knob Twister): 9:15

rainy days that I can understand, it can make sense. It's just a sad, sad, sad face. Oh. But what's a face like three rainy days that I can understand, that can make sense? It's just a sad, sad, sad face. Old shaver.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 9:22

But what's an old shaver? Maybe it's just like dude dude.

Micah (Knob Twister): 9:29

Dude Dude, hey, dude cat.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 9:32

Old shaver. What's the matter then, old dude, dude.

Micah (Knob Twister): 9:36

Meow Stop. Who can be merry when his neck is in danger?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 9:43

Answered the cat. Who's hurting the kitties?

Micah (Knob Twister): 9:45

Because I am now getting old and my teeth are worn to stubs, and I prefer to sit by the fire and spin rather than hunt down after mice who doesn't. My mistress wanted to drown me. What so I ran away. But now good advice is scarce. Where am I to go? He's going to drown him.

Micah (Knob Twister): 10:17

That's what the cat said.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 10:19

I think the cat is being a bit hysterical. Who's drowning?

Micah (Knob Twister): 10:23

their kitties. Well, they drown dogs like puppies that come in a sack and throw them in the lake.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 10:30

Oh my, gosh this conversation's over. Who does that? Bad people, no doubt bad people. Go doubt bad people. Go with us to Bremen. You understand night music, so you can be a town musician.

Micah (Knob Twister): 10:46

The cat doesn't get an instrument.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 10:48

It's just going to squall. The cat's.

Micah (Knob Twister): 10:50

the lead singer, the cat thought well of it and went with them. Yeah, that makes sense.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 10:58

The cat, the cat so we got a oh, what is a guitar and a drum and now we have the lead singer it's pretty cool.

Micah (Knob Twister): 11:06

It's cool man. Groovy dude. Yeah, I like that man. Man, a cat lead singer, that's awesome. Oh, that hurts my eardrums. No, that's. That's like, that's cool.

Andrea: 11:17

It's a cool cat dude, cool cat breaking new information on the elderly roaming animal gangs. These bands of farmyard animals may be trying to form musical acapella groups. Citizens are encouraged to not listen to the music directly, as it may cause bleeding from the ears and intense headaches If sighted. Please alert the nearest authorities and stay indoors.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 11:50

I still haven't figured out where that's coming from. Stop, stop, stop interrupting. We know that cat squalling causes bleeding ears. We don't need you to talk about it.

Micah (Knob Twister): 12:02

I'm starting to get a little worried, though this is a lot of breaking news. It's just roaming animal gangs, acapella groups. This is a bit frightening.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 12:14

Well, it sounds like fake news to me, because they have instruments.

Micah (Knob Twister): 12:18

Fake news.

Micah (Knob Twister): 12:22

Sofa sitter is on to something here. Well, please do continue. Maybe we'll get more updates.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 12:30

After this, the three fugitives let's call them fugitives right there. This, the three fugitives. Let's call them fugitives right there. After this, the three fugitives came to a farmyard where the cock was sitting upon the gate crowing with all his might.

Micah (Knob Twister): 12:43

We're going to have two lead singers, oh my gosh, your crow goes through and through.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 12:48

one said the donkey. What is the matter?

Micah (Knob Twister): 12:53

Oh my ears Through and through one huh. It just pierces your heart. I know it just pierces you. Yeah.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 13:01

It's very sad. It's like three rainy days sad.

Micah (Knob Twister): 13:06

I have been foretelling fine weather because it is the day on which our lady washes the what Okay, let me say it again I have been foretelling fine weather because it is on the day on which Our Lady washes the Christ Child's little shirts.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 13:28

Apparently, this story is taking place in Bethlehem. Yes and not Brigham. Somebody messed up the yes and not Brigham. Somebody messed up the title.

Micah (Knob Twister): 13:38

And wants to dry them, said the cock. But guests are coming for Sunday, so the housewives have no pity, and has told the cook that she intends to eat me in the soup tomorrow and this evening I am to have my head cut off. Oh, dear Off. Yes, that's frightening Off. Now I am crowing at the top of my lungs while I still can.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 14:07

That's distressing. What Are we just going to? I don't know what to think about the Christ Child's little shirts. I think the little religious Wilhelm guy it's fine in some stories, but some stories it doesn't make sense. You just can't throw Christ Child in the middle of a story, in the middle of Bremen, bremen, bremen, bremen, bremen, germany. It doesn't make sense, unless no.

Micah (Knob Twister): 14:34

There's no unless, no. There's no unless, no, unless this was like Sunday, that they're washing their shirts or, you know, like their church day maybe. So the Christ child, no, that doesn't make sense. I'm just trying, I'm stabbing in the dark.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 14:53

All right, I'm not hitting anything. Brother Grimm, I can't remember which one it was. I think Not hitting anything. Brother Grimm, I can't remember which one it was. I think it was Wilhelm. That was the religious one. You messed this one up.

Micah (Knob Twister): 15:02

Maybe it made sense to somebody back then.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 15:06

I guess so, but I don't remember a rooster, even in nativity scenes.

Micah (Knob Twister): 15:12

Sometimes there's a donkey. There's always a donkey, and you know what most of like uh, barns and stuff might have a cat for the mice no, farms have dogs, yeah so you could have a rooster, I mean how did the christ child know what time to wake up?

Micah (Knob Twister): 15:35

he was a baby.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 15:36

He didn't worry about that.

Micah (Knob Twister): 15:39

Oh, you had babies, well the mommy and daddy, when did the babies know when to wake up. Mommy and daddy needed to get up when they're hungry. We've gone far afield. Shall we continue? That was just a bizarre line.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 15:54

Yes, let's move on. Um, oh, let's move on. But Redcomb said the donkey, you had better come away with us. We are going to Bremen. You can find something better than death everywhere. You have a good voice, and if we make music together, it must have some quality. The cock agreed to this plan and all four went on together. Oh, man.

Micah (Knob Twister): 16:28

Now we're going to have a fight for the lead singer. Now we've got two lead singers. Yeah, because you know the cat's going to win this fight.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 16:34

It's going to be like a Beatles they're going gonna break up, the cock's gonna be a lot louder, but the cat would win.

Micah (Knob Twister): 16:45

Well, the cat is old and tired, says he's old and likes to sit by the fire, so he might just be like you. Go ahead and sing, I'll do backup vocals. I'll be the cool cat backup vocals. Cash is lazy. Yeah, I think so.

Andrea: 17:04

Another update. The CIA has confirmed there is one band of traveling musical animals. It will consist of an elderly donkey, an aging dog, a senior cat and an anxious rooster. They may be calling themselves the Barnyard Boys or New Kids. Out of the Barnyard. They have been spotted in the area of Brenham, Ah Wow.

Micah (Knob Twister): 17:33

What.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 17:39

That's disturbing.

Micah (Knob Twister): 17:40

New kids out of the barnyard.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 17:44

Somebody needs to be reined in. News reports are getting out of hand these days.

Micah (Knob Twister): 17:51

I want to see these guys. I want to see them in concert. This sounds pretty cool.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 17:57

It's hurting my ears.

Micah (Knob Twister): 18:00

Oh man Band names Horrible music, what the? I guess you're going to have to tune in next week For our exciting conclusion Of the Musicians of Bremen.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 18:14

What we're leaving a cliffhanger, of course. Look, it's got that in there.

Micah (Knob Twister): 18:18

Dot, dot, dot dot dot. That'll get people to come back.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 18:23

Find out next week who goes to the new Kids out of the Barnyard tournament. Wow Concert.

Micah (Knob Twister): 18:31

Tournament, and if you like this show, please comment on our website at talesofbedlamcom. Do it now, yeah, because we would like your comments on what we do, so that we know that you're actually listening. Twit me goodnight. Bye, my christ child shirts Bye. My Christ child shirts need to be cleaned. What the crap.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:05

I'm going to go start the laundry.

Micah (Knob Twister): 19:13

That's some weird delusions of grandeur.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:16

What's the thing? The sign of the cross?

Micah (Knob Twister): 19:20

No but what you do when you do that no you.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:21

It's called the sign of the cross. Yeah, but you you cross yourself.

Micah (Knob Twister): 19:27

No, I understand, but isn't there a name for it?

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:29

I just told you the name for it.

Micah (Knob Twister): 19:30

no, there's another name for something that that the cath Catholic people do.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:35

Okay, you just did it ten times and I told you what it was called. Like Hare Krishna, or it's called the sign of the cross. Okay, look it up Cool.

Micah (Knob Twister): 19:46

Google it.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:47

Cool cat. That's what the nuns do when somebody says a bad word.

Micah (Knob Twister): 19:52

I thought there was something else, but I can't think of it, so it doesn't matter. So I'm going to stop this recording.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 19:58

It's a forehead belly button wallet watch what that's how you remember which way to go. Say again Forehead belly button wallet watch.

Micah (Knob Twister): 20:08

Wallet watch.

Micah (Knob Twister): 20:10

Huh.

Dustin (Sofa Sitter): 20:12

Wallet's on this pocket watch is on this arm, If you're normal. I wear mine on the other this arm, if you're normal I wear mine on the other if you're normal. If you're not normal, you don't even have a wallet because you pay for everything with your cell phone I'd be in trouble because both mine are on the same side, so I'd be going forehead, belly button two sides, and then it'd look weird.

Micah (Knob Twister): 20:30

Yeah, it'd look like you had trats or something. You just be like freaking out you're a disabled racist but no, I'm not. I'm standing up for disabled and elderly people in this story. Wow, and in Bremen, germany, so that Germany can become a country and then start two world wars go Germany wow, I'm cutting that out, bastard.